Magician Buys Ford Escape for Act, Is Very Disappointed

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A magician is holding a fanned deck of cards in front of a white Ford Escape, which is a popular new Ford for sale.

Imagine spending $50,000 and realizing that your recent purchase doesn’t satisfy your (very) specific needs. That’s what happened recently to a Las Vegas entertainer after he spent a pretty penny on a new Ford for sale.

Ron McIntyre of the little-known and struggling act “Magic with Mac” saw an ad for a brand-new Ford Escape. While the magician understood that the advertisement was for an SUV, he also thought that the commercial implied that he could rely on the model for one of his greatest magic tricks yet.

“I can easily make limbs look like they’re removed from a body,” McIntyre told The Lemon. “I can tell you which card you chose, I can make flowers appear from a hat, and I’m oddly capable of holding my breath for minutes. However, the one magic trick that I’ve struggled with is the disappearing act. Based on Ford’s commercials, I was under the impression that their Escape would help.”

McIntyre had heard of rival magicians using vehicles in their shows, and he figured they all must have unlocked the power of the Escape. Still, despite the vehicle’s alluring commercial and other magicians’ success, he was still a bit skeptical.

“I was definitely questioning whether the Escape could truly help me with my magic act,” McIntyre explained. “Since I was a bit apprehensive, I decided to post on Reddit and 4Chan asking for some advice. While everyone kept calling me a nephew and using weird acronyms like ‘LOL’ or ‘LMAO,’ they all eventually convinced me that the Escape was worth the purchase.”

So, fast forward several days, and McIntyre had traded in his paid-off SUV for a brand-new Escape. He only received around $1,000 for his vehicle, meaning he had to dish out between $25,000 and $26,000 to purchase his new ride.

“The salesman was a bit vague when it came to the “magical” aspects of the SUV,” McIntyre said. “I thought it was an attempt to drive up the price, and it worked. I opted for all of the amenities that I thought could help me with my show, like a sunroof and an under-seat storage area.”

Back at his rehearsal spot/parent’s house, McIntyre was discouraged when he couldn’t figure out what all of the fuss was about. He practiced numerous “escape” scenarios, including submerging the vehicle underwater. During each test, the police and fire department needed to be called. Furthermore, submerging the vehicle predictably ruined all of the mechanical aspects of the SUV, forcing McIntyre to purchase a replacement.

Still, the magician was undeterred… initially. Eventually, with all of his tests proving fruitless, McIntyre contacted Ford in an attempt to get explicit advice on unlocking the magical side of the Ford Escape. McIntyre was quickly disappointed, as the customer service department refused to take his request seriously.

“I actually like the vehicle, but I wish Ford had told me right off the bat that it doesn’t actually help you escape,” McIntyre said. “It’s alright, though. The magician handbook says that ‘if you don’t succeed, keep trying’ or something like that.”

Last we heard from the magician, he’s eyeing some of Ford’s other SUVs in an attempt to revamp his magic act. Among McIntyre’s “best” ideas are adding a Mexican theme and incorporating the Ford Fiesta into his act.

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