Can’t Stand the Rain? Mazda Has Plans

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Missy 'Misdemeanor

In a display of arbitrary popularity surge unseen since all of social media decided to collectively canonize Keanu Reeves as some sort of earthbound demigod, Missy’ Misdemeanor’ Elliott is currently being hoisted up by the masses after receiving MTV’s Video Vanguard award last month. Now…you might be confused by the realization that MTV still values music – or even music videos. Well, old-timer, you’re certainly not alone; but here’s a look at the performance that took the internet by storm. (Note: you’ll need more than seven minutes to watch it in its entirety…)

The reaction spoke volumes. Celebrities such as Pharrell Williams declared her “The Queen” and credited her with setting “so many minds free” and having “changed the world in the process.”

Needless to say that (in a world where pretty much everything provides a synergistic opportunity for cross-marketing) Mazda has decided to wrangle that enthusiasm and release a Special Edition 2020 MX-5 Miata in Ms. Elliott’s honor…or at least they will be if they can settle on a design.

Dino Bernacchi, Mazda North America’s Chief Marketing Officer, claims that, “As with any of her incalculable number of fans around the globe, I have been directly impacted by the music of Missy Elliott. As a young, one-minute man, my car was the way that I flexed, and people would say I was just too fly. I was a hot boy. A rock boy. Playin’ hardballs with the Platinum Visa’s. Now, we’re able to extend our smooth soul of motion design philosophy in her honor and, believe me when I say, that we, at Mazda, are about to help you getcho freak on.”

To-date, the Miata hasn’t really been designed for the getting on of one’s freak. At best, a middle-aged divorced ‘zaddy’ or two might have gotten half-hearted handjobs from the Instagram models whose travels they pick up the bill for. But if the new Miata is being designed in honor of Missy Elliott, well, we’d expect that it will need (at least) some sort of a reinforced suspension. After all, dudes who own a Miata are going to need the added support if their new ride pulls in some hot Missi-lover who wants to lose control and yells out, “Sock it 2 me!” But the amorous potential isn’t the only stumbling block for Mazda. After all, they’re working against a fairly restrictive core design, when it comes to the MX-5.

Currently, the Miata lineup consists of the soft-top core model, as well as the more expensive RF which features a collapsible hardtop. On one hand, there’s the option of a full hardtop version intended for those who ‘can’t stand the rain.’ Then again, Mazda might simply opt for a more versatile top, for those who’d prefer to put their ‘thing down, flip it and reverse it.’

“It’s an interesting challenge,” explains Hiro Akamatsu, Mazda’s Senior Conceptual Design Associate. “How do you redesign such an iconic offering as the Miata, based around a niche cultural touchstone, just because it’s the hot button topic of the moment. I mean, are the potential gains present to support the effort? But then again, how do you turn down such a monumental opportunity? Is it worth it? Let me work it.”

One thing’s for sure. If Mazda chooses to move forward with the concept, they about to hit ’em with da hee.

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