Huntington Beach CA – You don’t have to be a resident of the west coast to feel the reach of California’s influence when it comes to the protection of natural resources or the desire to increase sustainable alternatives. Hell, you don’t even to be American. The simple truth is legislation originating in the Golden State impacts everything from domestic manufacturing to restrictions on U.S. importing. In addition, it has formed noteworthy legislative precedents that countless other nations have decided to emulate. But for prospective California car-buyers interested in buying a new Nissan, Huntington Beach civic leaders might be trying to distract you from the countless oil-harvesting sites found in the area.
Hiram Prescott-Whiteman, 97, is the CEO of Whiteman Oil. The year he was born a pound of bacon cost ten cents, the New York Giants won the world series, the Iberian Peninsula found itself subjected to downpours of airborne frogs (a phenomenon more common than you think) and 35 blocks of Tulsa, Oklahoma were demolished by mobs who killed hundreds of black residents angry that a wealthy black community was thriving. And while Hiram Prescott-Whiteman was only a baby in 1921, it’s worth noting that his powerful and influential family was secretly behind each one of those seemingly unrelated ‘fun facts’.
Make no mistake that Hiram Prescott-Whiteman prides himself as being part of a long-line of wealthy, yet ruthless influencers rumored to be the secret puppet-masters cloaked in shadows and operating our government by manipulating the strings which guide its motions. The near-centenarian might deny it, but there’s simply no shortage of major events within our national history that can’t be traced back along his personal lifetime and familial lineage.
Which makes it surprising that the Huntington Beach Oil Barons Association (which Hiram Prescott-Whiteman has served 58 years as duly-elected Chairman / Supreme Dragon Overlord) has directed their influence in support of the Nissan Leaf.
With a starting MSRP less than $23K (after federal tax credit) Nissan’s fresh-faced EV offering has taken the world by storm thanks to its zero-emission rating. And while, yes, the organization’s show of support seems like a conflict of interests, it could be argued that Philip Morris funded anti-smoking campaigns seems just as contradictory. Could they simply be promoting an alternative to their own destructive practices as a means of encouraging balance?
“It seems beneath them,” explains Ken Spearcy, the self-funded publisher of “Ken Spearcy: Theorist”, an underground publication which explores urban legend and conspiracy theories. “The entire economy of Huntington Beach was founded upon the oil wealthy. (It) makes sense because everything here sits upon a natural fault containing ample oil reserves. And as hard as it is to ignore the ever-growing number of oil rigs that litter the landscape, it’s even harder to ignore the evidence that most of them belong to Whiteman. Sure, porn star Jenna Jameson lives here. So does the lead singer of Alien Ant Farm. But it’s all just a distraction. As is the the H.B.O.B.A.’s counter-productive show of support for the Nissan Leaf, recently named the “Best Selling Electric Car”. Why would an oil organization place its influence behind a vehicle that wasn’t dependent upon its products? It stands to reason that they’re trying to distract us from something huge.”
As expected, neither Hiram Prescott-Whiteman or the H.B.O.B.A. could be reached for comment. Needless to say, Ken Spearcy’s theory is an interesting proposition; one that we might someday learn the truth about. Then again, here’s a list of events that Hiram Prescott-Whiteman might also be responsible for:
- The 1969 Moon Landing
- AIDS
- Game 7 of the 1986 World Series
- The Assassination of Chris Farley
- Y2K Panic (as a distraction to mask the implementation of alien tech, aka ‘Apple’)
- RuPaul’s Drag Race
- The 2008 Recession
- ‘Rick-Rolls’
- Amy Schumer’s continued presence in Hollywood.
- The February 2017 replacement of Pope Francis by a satanic robot duplicate.
- This entire article
