A pair of CEOs give the thumbs up after coming up with the name for the 2019 Toyota Sienna

“Gentlemen…and ladies…taking the main stage we have a very special request. She’s a sexy crowd favorite who’s here just for you. Make sure and show her some love. Let’s give it up for the 2019 Toyota Sienna.”

(Too much? We can never tell…)

For some unknown reason, automotive naming strategies seem to have been elevated to ‘hot topic’ status as-of-late. Whether in terms of industry banter or online discourse among consumers, there seems to be a rekindled fascination with the manner in which automakers go about branding each of their offerings with a distinctive, fitting and on-brand moniker. And while performance-minded offerings might favor sequential alphanumeric naming, domestic mainstays seem to relish the opportunity to generate flashy names based on dynamic wordplay and intentional misspellings. But still, where does the inspiration come from?

One might argue that the fascination comes from our inherent “need” to get a peek behind the proverbial curtain, free from the smoke and mirrors employed by marketers, to understand what makes an industry tick. Others might argue that our curiosity is motivated by ideas of our own; ideas which we’ve never had an opportunity to explore or offer up. But regardless of whether or not either is true, our curiosity lingers. There will always be a playful sex appeal to the automotive industry, not only in terms of their products but in their design and marketing as well. And with that in mind, there’s no real surprise as to the direction that Toyota is taking their naming strategy in for 2020.

“In our never-ending desire to look inwards, to recognize our own shortcomings, it became easy to see that Toyota was failing to compete in terms of ‘sexiness,’ is the admission offered by Toyota VP of Marketing, Katsuhiro Takada. “So we began to perform exhaustive research on what we considered to be ‘sexy,” traits that we easily transposable onto our lineup.”

To boil things down into the simplest terms possible, that ‘exhaustive research’ consists of an 18-month tour of exotic ‘gentlemen’s clubs’ across the U.S., southern Canada, and northern Mexico.

“Investing over $3.5 million into such a research and development initiative isn’t out of the ordinary; but requesting it all in $1, $5 and $20 dollar bills might have seemed odd at first. Then again, no-one’s over accused Toyota of being unprepared. So, it goes without saying that we have, in fact, made it rain quite a bit as of late.”

And with the intention of renaming their lineup to mirror the enticing nature of stripper monikers, what are some of the names Toyota is toying with for 2020? Well, they’re remaining tight-lipped, and for obvious reasons…but they have shared their long list with us. So, with that in mind, consider whether or not you’re interested in driving a…

Toyota Cinnamon

Toyota Delight

Toyota Coco

Toyota Chardonnay

Toyota Lexus

Toyota Chyna

Toyota Nevaeh

Toyota Trinity

Toyota Chastity

Toyota Destiny

Toyota Charity

Toyota Lola

Toyota Tiffany

Toyota Crystal (possibly “Cristal’, ‘Chrystal’ or ‘Krystle’?)

While some (or none) of these might see the light of day, it’s worth pointing out that the ‘Toyota Lexus’ might feel a little bit redundant. Also, the ‘Toyota Chyna’ feels a little bit at odds with itself. And don’t even get us started with the daddy issues on the “Toyota Nevaeh’…

What do you think? Is Toyota on the right path for 2020?


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here