Last year, the Powerball hit a record breaking 1.58 billion dollars. Billion. Not a typo.

Which of course begged the question that virtually every single person in America was hoping they’d get the chance to answer: What would you do if you won?

*Side note: if you say you would show up for work the next day and not change your life at all, you have completely missed the point of winning the lottery. Seriously. Please don’t play if that’s the case. Leave the lotto to those of us who would be drinking Dom Perignon on a private jet to Bora Bora before even remembering to call in “sick” for work the next day. Or, you could just go on the Today Show to announce to the world how filthy rich you are now.

Of course, the other bullshit statement spouted off by those who would never actually use their lottery winnings on mere materialistic possessions is: I wouldn’t even change my car.

There are not enough eye-rolls in the world for this. Yes, I am sure if you had ONE BILLION dollars sitting in your checking account that you would continue to drive your shitty ‘94 Honda Accord. Liar!

And look, I’m not saying that you have to go out and buy the Limited-Edition Bugatti Veyron (but you could at a mere $3.4 million), but take it from someone who actually did get a piece of that $1.58 billion pie – you’re going to want to upgrade your ride.

David Kaltschmidt, along with his wife Maureen, were one of two couples to win that lottery. And do you know what David said he was going to do with the money? He was going to retire and buy a new truck.

Which is what any self-respecting lottery winner should do.

Of course, David didn’t say which truck he was going to buy, although I’m guessing he’s probably shooting a little above the Nissan Frontier – although with a starting MSRP of $19,930 he could buy quite a few of those. No, we hope David is living the lottery dream and cruising around in a fully loaded American-made luxury truck. Why American-made? Because David is a damn Patriot, that’s why. And also, because he should probably use his winnings to stimulate the economy a little bit. Throw a bone to the rest of suckers, David.

So, while we have no idea what David drove before he hit it big, we’re thinking he should upgrade to something like the 2017 Chevy Silverado 3500HD in High Country Trim, because with $1.58 billion in the bank (okay, in the end he really took home $528.7 million), David should definitely spend about $75,000 to have one of the best – and most expensive – trucks money can buy.

If David were to “splurge” on the 2017 Chevy Silverado 3500 HD in High Country Trim, he’d be cruising in some seriously luxury. The truck would be loaded with a heated steering wheel, heated front seats, a rearview camera, wireless phone charging, ventilated front seats, upgraded leather upholstery, a spray-in bed liner, a navigation system, power adjustable pedals, side-assist steps, driver seat memory setting, a 110-volt household-style power outlet, an eight-inch touch-screen display, heated mirrors, dual-zone climate control, satellite radio, HD radio, a built-in Wi-Fi hotspot, Apple CarPlay and a seven-speaker Bose audio system.

David would also have the Driver Alert package which includes Active Safety Lane Keep Assist, Front and Rear Park Assist, Intellibeam headlamps and Forward Collision Alert. Of course, David can also afford to buy all packages and options he wants, so really David should just go buck wild kitting out his Chevy. He should opt for the sunroof, the rear-seat entertainment system and all the other bells and whistles that he’ll probably never use, but what the hell – he can afford it!

(Of course, David may also want to invest in a body guard and a top-notch home security system, but that’s another story.)

And while it may be nothing but class on the inside, the Chevy Silverado 3500 is still a damn good truck. Not only can David choose between cab and bed styles, he also can choose which engine he wants to power his new whip. The standard engine in the 3500 is the gasoline-powered 6.0-liter V8 that throws out 360 horses, but if David really wants to just go all out, he should spend the $9,000 it costs to upgrade the engine to the 6.6-liter Duramax turbo-diesel V8 with 445 horsepower and 910 pound-feet of torque. Sure, he might take a little hit on the fuel economy, but we doubt he’s too worried about that.

The 2017 Chevrolet Silverado 3500 HD is one of the nicest trucks on the market and although you can get an interior loaded with luxuries that rival even the nicest of cars, the truck is still an “everyman’s” ride. You might be driving a top-of-the-line model, but you haven’t let that money go to your head… no sir, you’ve just elevated your lifestyle a smidge. Like David said, “We are not going to go party,” he said. “We are still going to live the same lives.” It’s just that now those lives aren’t cruising around in truck that is “falling apart.”

Let’s be clear here: I’m not necessarily saying that I would run out and buy a truck after finding out I’m now a gazillionaire. No, the first thing I would do is swan dive into all of my cash Scrooge McDuck style (although in reality I would probably bear a closer resemblance to Peter Griffin). Then I would probably quit my job in a blaze of glory and spend the rest of my days drinking overpriced champagne on the beach. And I would probably drive a ridiculously awesome car like the Ferrari LaFerrari Aptera (just a cool $1.4 million). But that’s just me – and probably 90% of the population. But if David Kaltschmidt wants to spend his lucky winnings on a truck, more power to him.

But he better not still be working.


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