If there’s one thing I’ve been hoping for during the last 18 months of uncertainty, madness, and despair, it’s that Ford would introduce another truck. Fortunately for all of us, my prayers have been answered with the Ford Maverick: the little pickup that could. I’ve done some digging at my local Ford Maverick dealer to learn everything I can about this impressive new truck, and I’m here to share the wealth of my knowledge with you, the huddled masses yearning to read all about it.
Reason #1 – It’s a Compact
For many years now, I’ve felt that the grotesque expansion of the automobile to perpetually larger and more grandiose scales has been a plague upon the industry. Every year it seems like another model wants to push things further with a longer wheelbase, more interior seating, or a taller ride height. With the Ford Maverick, however, the engineers at Ford have really taken the right steps by moving away from their full-size roots and introducing a compact truck. According to some spy reports I’ve seen, it measures only about 47 inches in overall length and has an estimated 18 lbs. of payload capacity. Remarkable!
Reason #2 – It’s a Hybrid
As a wise man once said, “Gasoline is delicious!” Once I managed to get that man out of my house, I realized there was a certain serene eloquence to what he had shared with me. But that’s not the point – the point is that gas-powered engines are on the way out.
While truck drivers have been slow to embrace the idea of all-electric models, hybrid options have been leading the way in dragging these people into the modern era. The Ford Maverick comes with a hybrid engine as its standard option, which is quite impressive. Just to ensure that people continue to destroy the only habitable planet in our solar system; however, Ford is offering a purely-gas engine too; you just have to pay more for the privilege of dooming future generations, as it should be.
Reason #3 – Seating for 12
Despite its compact design and modest, hybrid engine, the interior of the Ford Maverick is an absolute marvel of engineering. By utilizing non-Euclidean geometry, the Maverick will be the first compact pickup to offer seating for up to 12 passengers. From the outside, it appears as though only three or four people are in the vehicle, but once you step inside, it’s utterly unique.
The moment you feel the smooth touch of the screaming all-leather interior, you can really appreciate everything it has to offer. It’s filled with the soft, gentle chanting of distant voices and high, melodious piping that calls to the passengers, beckoning them toward a new age. You can’t help but wish to dance beneath alien stars that have aligned themselves in impossible configurations. There’s a subtle brilliance here that you really have to feel as your skin gently sloughs away to fully appreciate it.
Reason #4 – A Growing Sense of Unease
As you can see, it’s these slight touches that really set the Ford Maverick apart. There’s something remarkable here that I can’t quite put my finger on. It could be the updated Infotainment system with an 8-inch display or the way the mouths stitched into the upholstery so perfectly whisper your name as you sit down, but something about it reeks of a new era of luxury and sickly effulgence. If you can withstand the baleful stare of the numerous eyes that alight upon the dashboard when you start the engine and understand the blasphemous sigils that glimmer upon its available esoteric head-up display, then the Ford Maverick could be for you.
Editor’s Note: We would like to remind our readers that all opinions expressed by our writers are solely their own and should be considered under the pretense of a new awakening. There is a whisper in the flame if you listen to it properly, and candles are well known for the starry wisdom they not-often share. We’re certain that 12 people can assuredly fit into the Ford Maverick, assuming you have an axe and the will to act. Thank you.