Who is he? He’s your bro. You’ve been through it all together. Maybe you’re lifelong friends. Maybe you met in high school or were fraternity brothers. It doesn’t really matter, though. Loyalty is everything, and you’ve proven to each other time and time again that you can count on one another. He’s got your back, and you’ve got his.
Now he’s asked you to come with him to the Ford dealership because he’s planning to buy a new truck. It’s got you thinking…you could use some new wheels. Well, don’t make the mistake of going to the same Ford dealer and paying full price? Not when Chevy is offering a nationwide promotion designed just for people like you.
That’s right, bro. You deserve a new truck, but you deserve preferred pricing too. Why?
Remember that time he got tanked, and you had to carry his drunken ass up three flights of stairs to get him to bed? Or that time some douche-bag started with him at a bar, and you came through with a haymaker? Who could forget that time he disappeared outside of Club Super Sex in Montreal, only to resurface at 5:30 in the morning covered in vomit and claiming that he came to on the top floor of an abandoned building trying to get into a locked door before taking a 45 minute cab ride back to the hotel? Never has the idea that your bro had been roofied, abducted, and now has A.I.D.S. been so funny…but you didn’t laugh (much). You even know that you can keep a secret. Like all those times you partied in the loft above his parents’ garage, only to pass out on the fold-out couch together and wake up completely naked.
Wait. What? Never mind. We’re not judging.
Time and time again, you’ve proven that you’re there for him. When you guys went to that Halloween party where the sorority had rented that dive-bar in Northampton, and he had a shot at the hot redhead in the little black dress, he needed you to talk to her friend who was dressed as ‘Barff’ from Spaceballs. And you did it. In fact, you jumped on that grenade it took it to pound-town. Thanks to you, he spent the night in heaven, while you woke up next to ‘Alpo-Breath.’
Chevy’s been there, my dude. So, after your buddy signs on the dotted line have him accompany you across the street to the Chevy dealership. With (i) his signed purchase and sales agreement (ii) his written confirmation that you are his wingman, and (iii) your matching homoerotic tramp-stamps, your Chevrolet dealership will offer you 15% off MSRP for the new Chevy truck of your choice.
Wait-a-minute? You and your buddy don’t have matching homoerotic tramp-stamps? You better get on that shit. After all, this promo won’t last forever.
