Biden Continues to Screw Us at the Pump

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Joe Biden is shown in front of a sign for gas prices after allegedly infiltrating used car dealers.

Well, friends, ol’ Sleepy Joe is at it again, and you and I are the ones feeling the heat as gas prices go up, the auto industry falls apart, and our bank accounts dwindle. This is something you’ll see at the fuel pump, of course, but it’s going even further, and now Biden and his administration are infiltrating our local used car dealers to keep making this great country worse and worse. I’m sure you already know all of this because you’re well informed and the kind of patriotic Americans who refuse to listen to the fake news and “facts” the other side, the enemy, just loves to wave about. While they’re busy buying electric cars that burst into flames and eating their avocado toast, we know what’s really happening.

The GasPump Hustle

I don’t have to tell you that the cost of gas has been skyrocketing recently, and it is 100% directly Joe Biden’s fault and no one else’s. If you look at the facts and data trends, it’s clear that gas prices have been increasing throughout the entirety of Biden’s presidency. Don’t worry about any trends before that or the impact of the FAUXVID pandemic—that’s all fake and doesn’t matter even if it’s not. Biden = expensive gas; it’s that simple.

Recently, I caught our so-called “President” at a local gas station increasing the prices himself. I saw it —it was just after 3 am, and he was there, climbing up on a ladder, changing out the numbers on the big sign. My local gas station wanted to be reasonable and sell gas at a fair price, but Smiling Joe forced them to change the numbers and make gas more expensive. Disgusting!

Joe Biden is shown in the showroom of a dealership with two smashed up cars.

Dealerships in Ruins

Not content to steal our hard-earned money at the gas pump, the Commander in Thief has been going to car dealerships across the country and ruining things for everyone. I’ve heard reports of Biden and his cronies breaking into dealer lots at night, smashing windshields on new cars, and pouring sugar into gas tanks. All of this is from reliable sources which have always been straight shooters with me in the past, so I have no reason to doubt any of it.

Our President should be out there lowering taxes and giving us all jobs, but no! He’s too busy wrecking car dealerships and smashing up my collection of 1994 Golden Girls collector’s plates. That’s the only thing that makes sense—what else could’ve happened to them!? My dog was right there, looking at the mess, and even he couldn’t stop the relentless depravity of Biden the Terrible.

Auto Industry Crumbles

When will this end? Where will it end? I’ve been hearing new reports that Biden has been specifically targeting major auto manufacturers to try to destroy the greatest American industry in human history. Why else would he be supporting unions and auto workers? Why else would he be hurting small companies like Tesla, which brilliantly avoids the costs of union labor, in order to encourage Americans to buy American products made by other Americans paid a decent wage? It’s communism, plain and simple!

That’s the ugly truth here, dear readers. Our president has been compromised by extreme left-wing ideologies like equal rights, fair pay, and supporting Americans. Call me crazy, but I believe in an America where we don’t need those kinds of things! I was part of a union shop for 27 years, but no one was helping me or making sure I was paid properly and not taken advantage of. It’s ridiculous, and we’re all worse off for everything everyone else does that I don’t agree with.

Editor’s Note: The author of this piece provided us with what he called “photographic evidence” of the claims made throughout. We’ve chosen not to publish these images at this time, although they do clearly indicate the high level of skill that the writer has regarding the manufacture and use of sock puppets. Thank you.

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