Bugatti Considering SUV (And in related story, Would Demi Lovato Date a ‘Dad-Bod’?)

Large man with

When Monday morning rolls around in the office, and someone asks me how my weekend was, they’re probably expecting small-talk about work I got done around the house or how my 13-year old daughter fared in her cheerleading competition. But my arrival in recent weeks have come complete with an added skip in my step, with who else to thank but iconic hypercar manufacturer Bugatti.

It was at the Paris Motor Show in early October that Bugatti’s President, Stephan Winkelmann stated that “the brand is ready for more” expanding its vision beyond the 1500hp W16 engine that sits at the core of its designs. More specifically, the implication is that they would be considering an SUV offering if the numbers worked out. Needless to say, news that a limited edition manufacturer like Bugatti might take its vision into mass-production, producing an aspirational vehicle that would be accessible to everyday lifestyles carries some reason to be excited.

That’s when my buzzkill co-worker Dave tried to quell my excitement. “Dude,” he said, in the vernacular of our people. “The Bugatti Chiron is a $3 million dollar car before you add any of the Sports features on it. I don’t know why you’re so excited. Even if they do make an SUV, you’d never be able to afford it, dumbass.”

He then proceeded to pull up an online Probability Calculator, determined to validate his claims using the solidity of mathematics. I, however, had no interest in such negativity. Why? Because there were far too many variables to be considered. What if I won the lottery, received an unexpected inheritance or received a personal injury entitlement which gave me the expendable income to buy a multi-million dollar Bugatti SUV? Bottom-line, there IS a chance (regardless of how minimal) and with a chance comes hope.

As Dave droned on about the 1:14 million probability of winning the lottery, my mind drifted into the expanse of possibility. That’s when my phone received an annoying alert from E! Entertainment Television (which I’ve been unsuccessful in disabling since it appears to be tied in with my Verizon service). The update had something to do with singer Demi Lovato’s progress in her continuing recovery from her late-July drug overdose.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…

‘Dude. You’re a 40-year old father, what interest could you have in a 25-year old pop star.’ Simple answer: Demi Lovato is so friggin’ hot. Debate me all you want…just know that it’s okay to be wrong (which you are), but I digress. Thanks to E! Entertainment News, I get all the latest updates on her recovery, including one particular revelation as exciting as the Bugatti SUV headline.

Apparently, part of her recovery process is to evaluate patterns in her personal life and relationships. While new relationships are certainly frowned upon as part of the recovery process, it appears as though the singer is looking to explore relationships with “new (and more stable) types of people”.

Well, call me crazy, but what’s more stable than a mid-level income 40-year single father? I mean, even with my chance of winning the lottery well-established, I’m about as stable as it comes. And I’m fairly certain that Demi Lovato would be impressed by how level-headed I seem, even behind the wheel of a Bugatti (even if that wheel presses against my dad-gut).


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here