A man crying over his love of the 2019 Ford EcoSport

Having just been introduced to the U.S market over a year ago, the 2019 Ford Ecosport may not have a lot of mileage behind it but (according to Ford insiders) it’s about to become the indistinguishable billboard of many Americans who are a ‘little further along’ in their respective life journeys.

Since 1965, psychodynamic theory has lent weight to the idea of a ‘midlife crisis’ (a term coined by psychologist, Elliot Jacque) along with such familiar phrases as ‘over the hill.’ The concept is built around the idea that human maturation can be compared to a hill. Depending on one’s own experiences, the crisis comes in the wake of a perceived “peak” and initiates certain self-awareness in terms of mortality and/or decreasing functionality. As a result of this self-awareness, a degree of selfishness ensues, as if to ‘make good’ whatever days the individual has left.

To court stereotypes, the idea has been used to explain men over the age of 45 suddenly sporting an earring, purchasing a sports car or pursuing a divorce. In the case of women, it has been known to rationalize drastic changes in hairstyle, fitness regimen or the onset of extramarital affairs.

But what about those forty-and-fifty-somethings who have no interest in earrings, tattoos, new cars, gym memberships or infidelity? What coping mechanisms are available to them so that they can ease gracefully into the slow decline that leads to the inevitably calming embrace of death?  Well, according to Elena A. Ford, her employer (the automaker which shares her name) believes that the EcoSport is the answer.

“While Americans may not be able to appreciate the storied history of the Ford EcoSport, the truth is that we’ve just passed the 15-year mark of its global existence. Long before it was introduced to U.S. buyers for the 2018 model year, it was a favorite among Brazilian, Thai, Russian and Romanian drivers alike. Think of it as that friend of yours who spent most of their twenties abroad, before settling down.”

“But the simple truth is, once you remove certain iconic and enduring models from the mix, the majority of car, truck and SUV offerings will only be on the market for 2-3 decades. This means that however new of an offering the EcoSport is stateside, it’s already experiencing the downswing into oblivion. Our goal, here at Ford, is to match the EcoSport with car buyers who feel the same way about their pathetic and unsatisfying lives.”

So, if you’ve crossed into (or over) the threshold of self-awareness called middle age, don’t feel bad if you’re not chasing speed, danger or the risk of an exciting new STD. Maybe you’re just looking for something a little more practical, and uninspired, albeit with some stories to tell. After all, your friend who spent those years in Europe is probably pretty boring now too. Those stories about hostels in Budapest, and backpacking through Malta, have given way to leftist political memes cluttering your Facebook newsfeed even those they live an upper-middle-class lifestyle in southern New Hampshire. No matter how much you’d love to hide their posts, it brings you a selfish sense of comfort knowing that they’re just not as cool as they used to be. And that makes it okay for you to be the same way…

So, if you’re considering the Ford Ecosport, don’t beat yourself up for your inherent sense of mediocrity. Even if you died tomorrow, it’s okay. You know who you are. And even if you have forty more years to live, you probably won’t do anything great or grand with it anyway.

In fact, Ford’s banking on it…


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