2018 Chevy Trax

Do you consider yourself a ‘grammar nazi’? Do you own, or have you considered buying a 2018 Chevy Trax? If you’ve answered yes to both questions, it stands to reason that you probably hate yourself a little bit.

In a world where the English language is bastardized countless times on a daily basis, most of us encounter conversational situations where we are tempted to correct others. Perhaps its the mispronunciation of a word, misuse of a turn of phrase, or simply a mistake in syntax or grammar. Whether our intent is based on a desire to help that individual better themselves, or simply because we’re an elitist, the simple truth is that we have a choice: to correct, or not to correct.

But another choice lies on the receiving end of any correction: do we learn from it, and self-correct ourselves as needed in the future? Or do we disregard it, out of spite?

Meet Joe Notarnicola. Figuratively speaking, Joe is not the brightest bulb in the circuit (or any circuit, for that matter). And yet, he has spent the last 31 years as a high-ranking supervisor on various General Motors production floors, both stateside and overseas. Widely criticized as ‘incompetent, unqualified and ineffective’ by his peers an subordinates, many GM employees have admitted to being confused his continual employment. Granted, Joe gained this enviable level of job security because of his asshole cousin Phil, who sits high atop the chain of command. That said, even nepotism can’t mask the fact that Joe’s grasp of the English language (as well as social protocol) is tenuous, at best.

One former employee, identifying herself only as Kara L. shared, “I don’t think Joe is a bad person. He’s just really unintelligent and awkward. Like, this one time, he slipped me a note that said, “Dew You Lik Me? Serkle Yes or No.” At first, I thought it was a joke. I mean, it looked that a developmentally-challenged five year old wrote it. Turns out, he’s just not that good with words and stuff.”

Perhaps this was shown most effectively back in 2013, when GM held a company wide contest to name the small-SUV which it planned to introduce into the American market for 2015. Although, the gamma-platform vehicle had a three-year head start overseas, it had been marketed in each of those countries under different names. For the United States, it was decided that something ‘special’ was in order.

To announce the contest, General Motors Senior Vice President of Global Communications, Tony Cervone, orchestrated a web-conference which linked all GM offices and production facilities. The conference allowed two-way engagement, meaning that employees of each location would be able to ask questions, or share thoughts and suggestions. The hope was that some early suggestions on potential names might fuel the excitement over the contest.

When the conference began at 10A PST, Mr. Notarnicola was one of over 400 employees present at GM’s Santa Rosa production facility. Immediately following Mr. Cervone’s announcement, the digital ‘floor’ was opened up in order for the employees to speak…and that is when Joe Notarnicola stepped forward and introduced himself.

“I think,” he began, feet planted, to anchor his trademark pelvic air-hump. “We should call it the Chevy trax.”

Mr. Cervone paused, “Hmmm…as in T-R-A-C-K-S?

“No,” replied Notarnicola. “trax, spelled like ‘Train trax’. T-R-A-X.”

“Mr. Notarnicola, I believe…”

But Joe interrupted him, “You know, like it rhymes with ‘Axe’. Like if I was going to AXE you a question.”

Having watched a replay of the video exchange, we can confirm that it lasted about 17 minutes and mostly consisted of Joe Notarnicola revealing the true extent of his literal incompetence. That said, it did have a nice ring to it, and the rest (as they say) is history.


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