Of those shopping for used cars, Albany, NY car-buyers might find they have more options available to them than ever, thanks to a certain British comedian who may have taken a humbling swing at General Motors. And while the featured image of this article helps this claim to sound more impressive (due to the apparent tininess of his fists), we’re not here to talk about the size of Ricky Gervais’ hands — we’re here to talk about the size of his cojones.
With last year’s audience numbers counting as the lowest ever, the 2020 Golden Globes Awards were sure to face some challenges. And while there will always be those eager to tune in to see who’s wearing what, and who walks away with whichever award, our collective love affair with the Hollywood elite just doesn’t seem to be as strong as it once was in this post-Weinstein/Epstein America. Which might be why we called in the Brits, namely celebrated comedian, acclaimed actor, and five-time host Ricky Gervais to smart-bomb both the home audience and those in attendance at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.
And no-one was safe. Not Martin Scorsese, Leonardo DiCaprio, Dame Judi Dench, or the superhero blockbuster genre. Even Tom Hanks, beloved by all (except for Henry Winkler and Trevor Moore), seemed uncomfortable within the firing range of Gervais’ relentless assault. And its thanks to his reaction that Tom Hanks is now a meme…
But even if the entire monologue was pre-approved for shock value, it proved incredibly relatable to the wider American public with Tuesday morning’s viral sharing of Gervais’ closing sentiment, “You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you’ve spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg . . . So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god, and f*ck off. Okay?”
If you haven’t seen it for yourself, you can watch it – in its entirety – right here:
But not everything makes it to air, of course. Television networks tend to draw a line when a joke, speech, or commentary endangers their relationship with paid advertisers, and it’s currently rumored that several recurring jokes within the January 5th broadcast were censored out for this reason. The target? General Motors, longtime sponsor of the annual awards show, and reigning champion in terms of automotive bad press.
While The Lemon has yet to secure any recordings of such jokes, sources with the Golden Globes production team have alleged that a backstage rant of Gervais’ had made its way over a hot mic during a commercial break. According to sources, the rant went something like this…
“This is the part where we hear about another shitty crossover. Yeah? Automakers are like one big organism. Tesla’s the brains. BMW’s the ripped physique. Porsche’s the cock. Ford’s the asshole. And General Motors? Well, GM’s the foreskin. And considering the amount of Jews in this place tonight, you’d think we would have cut GM off by now. Crossovers are fine, I guess. It’s GM’s crossovers that suck.”
Whether or not Gervais actually made such comments remains to be seen. We may never even know. But even if he did, it’s unlikely that there will be any lasting consequences. As he emphasized more than once in the course of the show, this will be his last time hosting the Globes. Plus, let’s be honest – it would be as difficult to argue the positive attributes of the Trax, Equinox, and Traverse as it would be to argue the factual role that circumcision has historically played in Semitic culture. But don’t take Ricky Gervais’ word for it. He’s just an ordinary guy, with lots of followers trying to spread his message. Sort of like Jesus Christ, I suppose.
Since the comments were never uttered over the air, GM might have very little to fear. But with Gervais trending at such ferocious intensity, it’s only a matter of time until the professional lemmings jump all over this story. Whether it’s fact or fiction, it will inevitably influence GM’s sales and satisfaction numbers, especially for those eager to place themselves on “the right side of history” when it comes to such controversial topics. And if that’s not Albany, well, we don’t know what is…