Sorry, Florida Chevy Chase fans. The former movie star won’t be attending a business near you.
Recently, a Florida family of 15 sold all of their belongings after reading about a Chevy Chase signing at a nearby business. For only $20,000, they thought they could secure the former SNL star’s autograph and a picture… “thought” being the key word in that statement.
“The ad clearly said “Chevy dealer” and “only $20,000,” said Cleaver McDumbfuck, the father. “We loved them Chevy Chase movies, like the Vegas vacation and the Christmas vacation. They’re the only two DVDs we own, and my children love them. So we figured, we sell the house and get his autograph for $20,000, we can then sell his autograph for $25,000 and get a bigger house. It was a win-win.”
However, the family soon learned that Chevy Chase was not actually attending the business. Rather, they simply misread an advertisement for a Chevrolet dealer that was selling several new vehicles for $20,000.
“We were bamboozled,” said Tina-Joy-Katherine McDumbfuck, the oldest daughter. “My daddy sold all of his prized possessions so we could move up in the world. Now, we don’t only have no house, we don’t have no Chevy Chase autograph!”
According to the dealership, the McDumbfuck family wasn’t the only clan that showed up confused. Rather, several other families came to the dealership seeking a Chevy Chase autograph, only to subsequently be turned away disappointed.
“I don’t know what it is about these Florida folks, but they’re really stupid,” the owner told The Lemon. “I mean, who reads a newspaper ad and assumes we’re selling Chevy Chase autographs? Furthermore, who reads that ad and thinks we’re selling those autographs for $20,000? I’m sure you could go on eBay and find one of those for less than $100.”
The McDumbfuck family is less than amused by the fiasco. The family has been living on the street in recent days as they attempt to re-buy their house. However, the family quickly learned that they drastically undersold the residence, which should have gone for more than $100,000 on the open market. Now, the family is down more than $80,000 and don’t have a place to spend their nights.
“That there dealership completely screwed us,” Cleaver said.
When asked why the family doesn’t simply purchase a Chevy vehicle (thus providing them with a place to sleep), Cleaver cited his growing family.
“We already got 15 of us, with another five on the way,” he explained. “We could barely fit in that house, much less a tiny car!”
While many patrons were confused by the Chevy Chase tease, an elderly lady thought she was visiting a Chevy’s restaurant, a nationwide burger chain with several restaurants in Florida. The Lemon watched as the woman was denied by the dealership, and we proceeded to ask her about her confusion.
“I’d like a large chocolate shake and a small hamburger, no onion or lettuce,” she proceeded to tell us.
While it’s not all that surprising, the McDumbfuck family has filed a class action lawsuit against the dealership, claiming misleading and false advertisement.
“This dealership didn’t have any intention but to mislead their prospective customers,” said the family’s attorney, Hugh Anus. “This act wasn’t only malicious, but it proves that the car seller wasn’t operating with any sentiment or moral well-being. We’re very confident the court will agree with his notion.”
“That’s the stupidest fucking lawsuit we’ve ever been hit with,” the owner said. “We’ve been sued several times before… but I never thought I’d be taken to court over a family mistaking Chevy cars for Chevy Chase. This is definitely a first.”
Continue checking into The Lemon for all updates on this landmark court case.