It’s Time To Rethink Cincinnati Marathons…Using Ford Trucks

A marathon runner is laying on the ground in front of a black Ford F-150 that left a Ford dealers in Cincinnati.

Americans have spoken. They don’t want to throw their lives away, busting their knees every so often through the horrors of a marathon. Yes, they’re good for raising awareness for certain illnesses and diseases, and, yes, they’re good for helping charities, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them more efficient. In fact, we can do away with the running altogether for marathons that take place in Cincinnati, Ohio, and just focus on using vehicles. More specifically, Ford trucks. In fact, having a marathon themed around trucks will not only see people racing to Ford dealers in Cincinnati to grab the most powerful 4×4 possible, but it will also redefine how we race marathons in the Buckeye State.

COVID Has Changed The Rules, So The Rules Are Changing

It’s true: Social distancing, wearing masks, the forfeiture of large gatherings. We’re now in a setting where running in a marathon with a bunch of other people is no longer a viable option. It’s just too risky.

A marathon runner in a gas mask is running toward a tape line that says Quarantine Area.

If you’re older or suffer from some sort of morbidity, grouping up with thousands of other people in a race during one of the dozens of marathons featured throughout the year in Cincinnati is just asking for trouble and will likely result in struggling through the anguish of throes.

In fact, some of Cincinnati’s marathons have already adapted to the changes, with the 2020 Cincinnati Aruna Run having completely done away with in-person running and opted for what’s called a virtual marathon instead.

Other events have adopted similar policies, such as the Cupid’s Undie Run, which was originally set to include more than a thousand people running as part of a fundraiser. But much like the Aruna Run event, they opted for a virtual meet up, completely doing away with the risk of mass group contact, a prime carrier for COVID.

But what if there was a way to keep engagement high in all the great marathons that Cincinnati has to offer throughout the year, but without any of the worries that come with participating in large in-person events?

Yes, COVID has changed the rules; but the rules are changing, too.

Instead of letting the pandemic ruin great local events, people just have to make use of new means of travel, specifically in trucks.

Ford’s F-150 series would make for a great alternative to running marathons in person.

Every problem that people face due to the pandemic would be duly alleviated. Social distancing? Well, you’re inside of a truck, and likely everyone else who is also inside of a truck are probably (mostly) six feet apart. And with each participant sitting inside of a cabin, you don’t have to worry about spreading germs or posing a risk to anyone else, so if you don’t want to wear a mask during the marathon… You don’t have to.

Best of all, thanks to the Ford F-Series coming equipped with cabin air filters and larger vents in newer models, you don’t have to fret about risking anything hazardous seeping its way across your nostrils or into your mouth while you run––ahem, I mean drive the marathon with four wheels planted firmly on the ground.

So long as you replace the cabin air filter every 10,000 miles, you’ll be safe from any of the pesky pandemic’s machinations, allowing you to enter and enjoy every marathon in the area that Cincinnati has to offer.

And besides, how much more comfortable would it be sitting in a cabin with cloth upholstery, optional leather-wrapped steering wheel, and 8-way power seats compared to busting your knees running on the street?

Humans Are Too Slow; Trucks Are Faster

Most people run a marathon around anywhere between 10 and 15 miles per hour, with most marathons being anywhere between 5 kilometers and 10 kilometers in length, or between 3 and 5 miles. Those aren’t the most impressive numbers when it comes to speed averages.

Maybe it’s time we recognize that humans are just too slow to get the job done effectively.

It usually takes the average person around 4 to 5 hours to run a full marathon, and that’s just unacceptable in today’s age. Do you know what you can do in that time? You could actually watch Terms of Endearment… twice.

That’s just how slow people typically run marathons. Getting exercise and being healthy… Yeah, it’s good for people who want to get in shape or stay in shape; but isn’t moving faster and having less work to do all-around the better option for just about everybody?

In a Ford truck, you could finish most marathons in a matter of minutes. The Ford F-150, in fact, has acceleration times of achieving 0 to 60 miles per hour in just 5.3 seconds, making it one of the quickest 4×4 pickup trucks on the market. It can also complete the quarter-mile run in just 13.8 seconds at 102 miles per hour.

Do you know what that means? It means that you could show up, honk the horn, run the race, finish, and be back in time to binge-watch Steve McQueen movies for the rest of the day.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that strategy at all.

It’ll Be Like NASCAR Trucks, but on the Street

You know what the best part is about replacing on-the-ground, foot-based marathons with trucks? The speed. Everyone who has a need for speed will definitely get more of it when barreling down the road competing against other truck owners for a good cause.

In Ford F-Series pickups, you’re particularly in good hands when it comes to speed because, at the top end of the powertrain spectrum, you can expect the 3.5-liter V6 to output up to 430 horsepower and 570 lb-ft of torque. This gives you up to 107 miles per hour of unadulterated on-the-road power to handle.

However, as we all know, marathons typically don’t showcase just how fast the average human being can run. I mean, it’s not really a competition (even though we all know it is, and there’s really no point in bragging about anything but a first-place finish), so most people typically don’t break out their top speeds in the marathon. Most people find a steady pace and keep with it.

A Ford Raptor race truck is driving in the desert behind two runners.

In fact, the average person can run about 20 miles per hour, and if they do half that speed during a marathon, on average, then shouldn’t the same rules apply to a Ford F-150? 63.5 miles per hour on average for the marathon wouldn’t exactly top out as NASCAR-equivalent speeds, but you could definitely get some intense bumper-to-bumper action going in and out of turns while other marathon racers try to keep up.

Marathons in Cincinnati would be so intense that they might even be inclined to air them on national television on weekends just for the heck of it. With thousands of people crowding the streets with their pickups in hopes of raising the most money during the fundraiser drive, who wouldn’t want to see how that turns out with the trucks doing well over 60 miles per hour during the marathon?

Weather Makes Marathon Running Tough… But Not Ford Tough

Harsh weather conditions throughout the year can make Ohio an unwelcoming place to run several miles to raise money for a charity, especially during the fall and winter seasons.

But why run the risk of catching a cold or dealing with the harsh realities of unpredictable weather conditions when you can just tough it out in the comfort of a Ford pickup cabin?

You don’t have to worry about rain, sleet, or snow slowing you down. You just hop in the driver’s seat, turn over the engine, and drive to the finish line regardless of whatever mother nature decides to throw your way.

Yes, it’s time to change the way we run marathons in Cincinnati, and it starts with pickups built Ford tough.


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