The Golden State. The Land of Milk and Honey. The Place Where Every Teenager Wants to Go According to Music. California goes by many names thanks to its wild history and stunning natural beauty. From the redwood forests in the north and the mountains in the east to the beaches in the south and wildfire everywhere in between, there are few better ways to experience our great state’s great outdoors than in a Jeep – and Gold Tooth Jeep is proud to call itself the best Jeep dealership in California!
What is it about Gold Tooth that makes us the cream of the crop? It’s simple – we go above and beyond in everything we do! We boast the biggest, most earthquake-proof inventory in the state. Our financing team is renowned for procuring opportunities that are impossible to decline. But our commitment to our customers doesn’t stop at the point of sale – it follows you throughout your time as a Gold Tooth Jeep owner, with service that goes above and beyond all expectations!
You should already be getting in the car to head to our showroom based on that alone (trust us, the traffic is terrible), but since you’re still reading, we’ll keep talking until you’re convinced. Another 1000 words gives us enough time.
Jeeps for Everyone!
Let’s start with the inventory. At Gold Tooth Jeep, we’ve got a Jeep for everyone in the state! Okay, not literally, but it looks that way! You might ask how we can manage to keep such a massive inventory when the average price of land in California is one human kidney per acre. The answer is in how we stay on top of the competition.
Don’t forget that we are Gold Tooth Jeep. Not Star City Chevy, not Ocean Ave Acura – those are our neighbors. We sell the brand that’s built its reputation on off-road readiness with some of the most capable SUVs and trucks the US has ever seen. So when we overstocked our inventory by accidentally putting a “1” at the start of our order for “000” new Renegades, we creatively reimagined our neighbor’s vehicles as boulders and established our dominance by parking the new Renegade armada on top of them.
At first, people didn’t like the idea. “What the ****!?” I think I recall hearing from Donny Barzini, the manager of Star City Chevy. But you know, we talked it out like gentlemen, came to an agreement, and moved on. Since then, the sight of our Jeeps mounting lesser vehicles has become something of a tourist attraction, making Gold Tooth Jeep a household name nationwide.
We can go crazy with our orders because there’s always room for more, and there’s always passersby ready to become customers! Don’t be shy – ask to join in if you happen to be around when we’re rotating the inventory. Since we’ve started doing it, a full 10% of our sales come from folks who’ve participated in the weekly Mounting Maneuvers and fallen in love with their charge.
As a result, there’s no other Jeep dealer nationwide who can truly say their inventory is the best; at Gold Tooth, if it’s a new Jeep, it’s on the lot, no matter what model, trim and package combo you’re interested in. We’ll never settle for second place; in fact, let us know if you see any other dealer claiming to have the best Jeep inventory and earn yourself a nice finder’s fee discount for your contribution to the business!
At Gold Tooth Jeep, we’re proud to offer financing plans so flexible that “gymnastic” is the only appropriate word to describe them! Whether your credit is good, bad, nonexistent, or better described as “tiderc” we’ll approve your loan and see you off in one of our excellent new Jeeps. How can we swing it, you ask? Easy – by acting as the bank for you!
That gives us the freedom to take on the risk of a loan ourselves, rather than relying on a third party who doesn’t know you like I do. Just fill out a simple questionnaire to show you’ve got a down payment, the means for a monthly payment, and give us a sense of your hard skills, soft skills, past and present places of employment, residence and education, your greatest desire and your deepest fear. Just like that, bada-bing, bada-boom, you’re approved!
“Well gee, Mr. Brasi,” you say, “That sounds awful nice, but what if I can’t afford a shiny new Jeep?” The answer, my dear, is that of COURSE, you can afford it! Make us an offer, your best offer, any offer, and we guarantee that we’ll beat it. That’s right, we will beat your own offer to us! If it sounds crazy, that’s just because you still lack vision, kid – trust us, the numbers check out in the end.
A Commitment to Service
You might hear people say that where a dealership really makes its money is in service. In our case, it’s true, because our commitment to service goes above and beyond all expectations and earns us hundreds of new customers year after year! We’ve seen manufacturers come out with apps and programs to have service reminders sent to your phone and to use the app to schedule appointments at your convenience, and we were inspired. We asked ourselves, what can we offer our customers to make service even more convenient?
Then we remembered that this is California, and the answer was obvious: bring the service to you! That’s right – when you need service for your Gold Tooth Jeep, use our custom in-car app to request an appointment, let us know what you need, and that’s it! Thanks to a few select business partnerships and strategically positioned resources, we’ll swoop in to execute anything from an oil change to a full engine swap right there on the road while you’re stuck in gridlock already anyway.
So the next time your colleagues brag about how their dealers offer “OEM parts” and “certified-trained technicians,” tell them you’re a Gold Tooth customer. We’ve managed to turn California gridlock into a good thing – join the family to make it a good thing for you, too!
A Family Business
It might seem too good to be true, but it’s not. California is a land of opportunity, and at Gold Tooth Jeep, we’ve found the opportunity to turn two-hour commutes into the best vehicle service business in the country! Factor in an inventory that tops all competition and financing that won’t be beat, even by our customers, and it’s no wonder that Gold Tooth is responsible for making Jeep one of California’s most popular brands.
Friends of small family businesses will be glad to know that buying Gold Tooth is truly buying local. When you work with us, you’ll be supporting a local family business that’s making inroads in many industries today, from Gold Tooth Jeep to 49er Real Estate (proud owner of the rejuvenated Ocean Ave district of Star City) and San Andreas Construction (“Unlocking the California grid, one step at a time!”). Our sister companies are generously funding struggling businesses like our neighboring dealerships and restoring our crumbling highway infrastructure, so your support for our business goes a long way to lifting up our community as a whole, and we thank you for being a loyal Gold Tooth customer.
Alright, that should just about do it—enough of the chit chat. If you’re not yet a Gold Tooth customer, and you’re still here reading this, you’ll want to go check on your vehicle. You might find it’s suffered a little… accident, you know? Perhaps it’s developed an untimely rattle or a severe exhaust leak and is no longer serviceable. Trust us; you’re better off ditching that unreliable piece of junk tomorrow and finding yourself a new Gold Tooth Jeep. Welcome to the family, Mr. Bonasera!