Brand new specs and images have been leaked for the upcoming 2021 Ford F-150 redesign, and there is a lot to unpack here. It doesn’t matter if you’re a multi-millionaire or someone in need of a bad credit car loan, this thing is a beauty and certainly worth whatever it will cost. Looking at this information and these exciting images, I’m reminded of a story my mother once told me when I was just a boy.
She said that she had been out wandering one day (my mother grew up in the old country – I’ve never been exactly sure which old country it was because every time she pronounced the name it sounded like a sneeze, but rest assured it was an old country and you’ve probably never heard of it) as a little girl when she came across a wounded animal. According to her tale, it looked like a dog only much larger and without any fur; also its front legs were bent more like a person’s arms and ended in hands, while the hind legs were much like a man’s legs and ended in human feet. It had the head and face of a man, and spoke her home language quite fluently – also it was wearing a stylish pair of pleated trousers and an overcoat with a handsome jacket, shirt, and striped vest.
The creature spoke to her as she approached and said, “One day, while I was just a boy, I wandered far from home, too far, so that I could no longer see my door. My mother had warned me away from venturing too far, but this day I ignored her cautionary stories and nervous glances toward the west. It was in the west that those tall mountains stood; mountains that seemed to go on forever, reaching toward the sky like ancient titans, thrown down for their insolence and pleading to the heavens in the hope of forgiveness. There, in those mountains, I met a woman with a goose, and she told me her tale.”
It seems the goose had been a gift from a man wandering along the gentle slope of a river, bending this way and that, always coursing toward the sea. He had ventured many years before to find his fortune in the ancient mountains of his homeland, but had found neither gold nor bounty that would afford him a life of ease and luxury. In his exploration, however, he had come upon an aged goat, wise and bearded like a man I met once while leaving a restaurant.
The restaurant had been a fine one – it served Chinese food – or perhaps it was a barbecue joint that was in the same location as a previous restaurant that had served Chinese food. Now that I think of it, there wasn’t a restaurant there at all, but I had eaten barbecue the night before while at a friend’s house. I think that was a birthday party for my nephew, or perhaps my friend’s nephew – either way, the pizza he made was delicious.
And it was while I worked as a pizza delivery driver that I first got my taste for the freedom of the open road. I was driving back from a delivery, late at night, when I saw a young woman walking along the side of the road. Slowing, I pulled over to ask if she needed a ride, and she nodded, saying “yes” and thanking me as she motioned to open the door. As I drove away, it was reassuring to know the answer to my question, and I certainly hope she found someone to give her a ride that cold, terrible evening.
But, as you well know, the North American Moose, also known as the common ground whale, appears at first glance to be a relative of the deer family, when it is, in fact, notably a reptile. You can distinguish their reptilian origin by the scales that adorn their large, powerful antlers and the fact that they cannot fly, like a bird. Nor can a moose drive the recently revealed 2021 Ford F-150, even though it would very much like to.
Since male moose have to compete with each other during their mating season, which traditionally lasts 117 months, the bold front fascia and unmatched towing capacity of the F-150 would surely give them an advantage. Sadly, most moose find it difficult to qualify for vehicle financing, even bad credit car loans, which means they are usually seen riding a bicycle or piloting a hot air balloon. I guess that means moose can fly, so perhaps they are not reptiles, but instead a species of large, furry, antlered birds, much like the American Bald Eagle.
The updated 2021 Ford F-150 will probably release sometime.
Publisher’s Note: Due to several complaints we have recently received, we want to assure you that the preceding news item has been thoroughly fact-checked. Based on the available information from Ford, we can confirm that the common North American ground whale is, in fact, an amphibian. The writer of this article has been sacked, and his children will be fined the cost of this fact-checking. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused, and would like to assure you that your feelings do not matter. Thank you.