NASCAR Feels the Need…the Need for WEED?!

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A field of marijuana plants with the NASCAR logo above

Daytona Beach, FL – The phrase “Tires Blazin’” is about to take on a whole new meeting, as one of the most lucrative and high-profile professional sporting events in history is rumored to take on a new partner in the form of the fastest growing industry in the global economy.

Forbes recently published some research data stating that the global cannabis market is estimated to cross the $30 Billion USD mark by 2021. Already at $7.7 Billion by the close of last year, the U.S. cannabis retailers represented about 90% of global sales. Based on the 2021 timeline, however, that number is expected to drop to around 57%. But not if NASCAR has anything to do with it. 

Earlier this year it was reported that the racing behemoth had been experiencing exponential drops in both attendance and viewership, continuing a decade-long trend. Take Talladega for example which, in 2017, had delivered a 3.5 rating with 5.9 million televised viewers. Earlier this year, however, those numbers dropped to 2.85 and 4.7 million, respectively. According to NASCAR’s Head of Series Marketing (identified on their Careers page as ‘Jeff’) “At a high-level, we have an intimate relationship with the cyclical nature of viewership. While disheartening, considering the amount of effort put into each race and series, ebbs and flows of viewership is one of the simple realities faced by any sport.”

And it would appear that, regardless of what that pamphlet they gave you in 7th grade Health Class said, weed IS the answer!

Meet Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, VP of Regional Sales for SlingshotTHC, a large-scale grower and seller of recreational cannabis/marijuana products and newest corporate owner of a NASCAR racing team. A lifelong fan of sitting down for extended periods of time, Shaggy is confident that his company’s entry into the NASCAR family will have mutually beneficial effects that will be a game-changer for the industry as a whole.

“Just think of how many cannabis users will become racing fans, replenishing some of NASCAR’s lost viewership. And think of how many NASCAR loyalists will be converted to new legal strains of cannabis for their own recreational use! My only concern is whether or not our driving team will be competitive…I mean…on one hand, they might be running 200mph at Talladega. On the other hand, 17mph can feel really fast when you’re lambasted.”

Of course there are some who are concerned by the implications of blurring the line between marijuana use and safe automotive practices. Unfortunately, the varying nature of test results minimizes any likelihood of marijuana opponents impacting the new partnership in any way. Even as a result of inconsistencies found in their own large-scale study, the NHTSA has been hesitant to take any definitive stance. 

“Which is great for us,” says Shaggy. “And great for NASCAR. I mean, the cross-marketing opportunities alone are massive. Imagine branded tie-in strands for each of the major Sprint Cup races! I don’t know about you, but I’m way more likely to watch a 500 lap race if I’m melting into my couch on a molecular level, unable to escape!”

And in a related story, the use of ‘first names only’ on NASCAR’s website is more than just an attempt to make the site more personal or to retain anonymity. According to Senior Counsel, ‘Nichelle’, “By eliminating last names we’ve generated massive savings and incremental revenue. Plus, let’s be honest, this new partnership has us blazin’ up like everyday. I just had a handful of edibles, simply because I can. We’re all so damn high all-the-time now, I gotta be honest…first names just make it easier.”

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