GMC SUV Prepares To Scale Border Wall
“The ramp needs a bit more elevation!” yelled Tommy McCallahan as he put the finishing touches on a ramp in his back yard. Generally, if someone were to come across this scene, they’d probably assume that Tommy was building some skatepark. Considering the size of the ramp, perhaps they’d think Tommy was preparing for some daredevil stunt. Well, they’d...
Cars That Almost Were: 2019 Mazda Shazam
For the better part of two decades, the scope of comic-based entertainment seems to have grown exponentially…arguably to the point of oversaturation. From feature films to programs featured on streaming services, there has been no shortage of material. Formatted to be as palatable to the general audience as it is to fanatical enthusiasts, this content aims to create visibility...
Gearhead Dad & Gamer Son Find Common Ground
Rindge NH - This past Christmas, a Google search for RAM dealers near me, performed by a southern New Hampshire mother might have served to restore peace to her increasingly turbulent household.
Ask most men, and they’ll agree that the relationship between fathers and sons can prove to be a slippery slope; one that can be difficult for both to...
Lin-Manuel Writing New Hip-Hop Musical Based on GM CEO
NEW YORK CITY - Fresh off his hit Broadway smash hit “Hamilton” and starring appearance in “Mary Poppins,” Lin-Manuel Miranda is once again planning to take the world by storm. The actor/composer/playwriter/seemingly nice dude recently announced that he’d be writing a hip-hop musical based on the life of GM CEO Mary Barra (which is aptly titled “Barra”).
“I purchased a...
GM Enacts New Strategy to “Normalize” Plant Closures
Detroit MI - In live auto news, General Motors has fallen under increased scrutiny in recent months, resulting from a wide array of fiscal woes that have forced several plant closures and countless layoffs.
But how does one battle such negative press? According to GM insiders (who have requested that we protect their anonymity) the automotive giant aims to employ...
Scientists Link Spousal Indecisiveness to SUV Craze
Cambridge MA - If you and your significant other are debating the 2019 Chevy Equinox vs 2019 Kia Sportage, you might be exhibiting the early signs of a failing relationship; according to Harvard researchers, anyway….
We’ve all been there.
Regardless of our gender, that of our partner, or the respective roles that we play within the confines of our own households...
Electrification of F-Series Sparks Unexpected Debate
After decades of discussion, debates and live auto news coverage regarding the energy crisis, the majority of automakers seem to be neck-in-neck with one another as they wrap up the first leg of what seems to be a sustainability relay of sorts. The race, in which they’ve spent the last ten years catching their stride, has placed them on...
“Introducing the 2020 Buick GucciDap 6900” by Brogan McHenry
DETROIT, MICHIGAN - What’s good, my dudes. I figured I’d introduce myself before I share some cool car news from my uncle. My name is Brogan McHenry. I’m an 11th grader at Mumford High School and I love three things: chicks, cars, and lacrosse. I hold a team-record for chugging three beers at a party last weekend, and that...
Writer Releases Ford-Themed Erotic Novel
Fresh off her successful book “A Gronking to Remember,” author Lacey Noonan is looking to appeal to another type of audience. The erotic-fiction writer will soon be releasing a book titled ‘My Lord: The Ford,’ the first book in a trilogy of sexy car-themed novels. The author is no stranger to unorthodox subject-matter, and her latest series of books...
No-Water Car Wash Opens to Address Bacterial Concerns
Dayton OH - When looking to buy new or used cars near Dayton Ohio, residents are being encouraged by local authorities to insist that the vehicle be washed beforehand. But, to be clear, not just any washing will do. In fact, a temporary county ordinance requires all dealerships (or private seller) within a twenty-mile radius of Dayton to perform...
Crossovers: the Original ‘Green Deal’
They call it a “socialist wish list” that could cost trillions, kill at least a million jobs and disrupt global trade. But if you think that Republicans are critical of the now infamous ‘Green New Deal’ proposed by New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, then you should meet Helen Gruber, a veteran automotive design consultant who has worked with everyone...
Nobody Told the 2020 Toyota Supra Things Were Gonna Be This Way
Nostalgia has always been an important touchstone of successful marketing, used indiscriminately by countless industries in an attempt to appear relatable while tugging at our collective heart-strings. But in reviewing the latest of live auto news headlines, we might have come across one of the most surprising attempts at cross-marketing in recent history.
Enter Toyota. In the case of the...
Google Plans Fuel Fear in the Buckeye State
It was recently announced that Google would be continuing to invest millions of dollars into the midwest with the proposed construction of data centers in Ohio (and later, Nebraska). Part of a $13 billion expansion strategy across the 14 states, creating tens of thousands of jobs, the New Albany build marks the first step in Google’s next growth spurt....
Long John Silver’s Employees Gain Unexpected Ally
Louisville, KY - This one’s for all the Christians out there. Wednesday, March 6th marks the beginning of Lent, prompting all God’s good little doobies to give up something they love for forty days in a show of solidarity, symbolizing repentance and introspection. But, if you’re uncertain what to give up for lent this year, you might want to...
Ocasio-Cortez: If No-One Works, We Can Eliminate Trucks!
Washington DC - Every once in a while, an individual in the public eye casts such a noticeable and continual shadow that it becomes hard to imagine a time when they weren’t around. For better or worse, most Americans would agree that Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, the freshman Representative from New York’s 14th congressional district is a prime example of such...
Truckmakers Unite in Support of ‘American Gladiator’ Revival
For prospective truck-buyers looking for a means of comparing one particular model against another, there are countless online resources worth looking into. Whether you’re comparing the 2019 GMC Sierra 1500 vs 2019 Nissan Titan, or more mainstream options like the Ford F-150 vs Chevy Silverado, these services tend to be as simple as selecting the models from a drop-down...
EDITORIAL: “Credit Terminology” Fuels Offensive Stereotypes
Editorial Disclaimer:
The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by this author do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of The Lemon or its official policies.
Equality. Tolerance. Acceptance. Unity. Unless you’re an evil cisgendered white male, these are the only things you truly want in life. Because 2019 marks a new beginning in our collective history, socially terraforming our...
Trump Criticizes 2019 RAM HD as “Threat to National Security”
Washington, DC - Every once in a while, The Lemon catches wind of an example of live auto news intersecting with the world of global politics. And while such examples are most likely to revolve around exciting imports, global marketing strategies and trade matters, we do manage to strike gold every once in a while. And that’s exactly what...
Ancestry.com Credited with Spike in SUV Rentals
Right now, someone is standing at the desk of a Car Rental agency in New England, comparing the 2019 GMC Acadia vs 2019 Ford Explorer. In addition to matters of cost, they are probably weighing the pros and cons of each of the celebrated SUVs in an attempt to determine which one they will choose to pilot on a...
You Can Now Understand “Jeep Thing” Thanks to Groundbreaking New App
Detroit, MI - If you’re anything like us, you’ve either had a friend, family member or co-worker who subscribes to the intangible ideal known as “Jeep Life”. Most likely, they choose to place themselves behind the wheel of a Wrangler, crawling rocks and/or malls, offering inscrutably subtle ‘Jeep Waves’ to other members of their tribe as they pass. Or...
