Texas: No Country for Ol’ Chevys

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A cowboy is on a fence looking at his white Chevy Silverado HD towing machinery after leaving a Chevy dealership in Dallas.

When at a Chevy dealership in Dallas, truck buyers must feel a little bit out of place. Each fall, automotive journalists and manufacturer representatives alike meet up for a two-day event hosted by the Texas Auto Writers Association, assessing the industry’s most popular cars, trucks, crossovers, and SUVS – at least in the eyes of Texans. And in the truck category, the most recent pick for ‘Truck of Texas’ went to the 2019 RAM 1500.

In recent years, recipients of the same distinction included the 2018 Ford F-150, 2017 Ford Super Duty, and 2016 Nissan Titan XD. But it’s the relative absence of the Chevy lineup in the list of awarded models that has everyone confused. Well, everyone except the people of Texas.

At nearly 270,000 square miles in size and boasting a population of approximately 28.7 million, it’s inevitable that Texas ends up being a lot of different things to a lot of different people. But the one thing Texas isn’t (according to online web moderator, and Fort Worth resident, ‘King’ Ken Hubbard) is a ‘Chevy State.’

A comedic map of Texas is shown.
A map of Texas, as drafted by ‘King’ Ken Hubbard.

Hubbard is best known for his meteoric rise to just below relative mediocrity in 2004 for publishing a list of ’10 Slightly Offensive Texas City Nicknames’. That’s right, if you’ve ever referred to Amarillo as ‘Slamarillo,’ Abernathy as ‘Abernasty,’ or Odessa as ‘Slow-Death-ah,’ you might have ‘King’ Ken to thank. Having developed a significant online following (because let’s be honest, Texans aren’t often celebrated for their intellect), Hubbard has been sometimes emulated, mostly stolen from, but never truly duplicated. I mean, come on, not just anyone is going to come up with the idea that Frisco should be referred to as ‘Frisky Ho.’ But I digress…

“In 2015, the full list of TAWA awards ain’t got a single Chevy truck, car, or SUV. Same with 2016, 2017 and 2018. We got Ford, Dodge, RAM, Jeep, Toyota, Honda Lexus, Hyundai, Nissan, Mazda, Infiniti, Volvo, Mercedes-Benz, and even Maserati. But there ain’t no Chevy, and let me tell you, that ain’t no coincidence. This ain’t Chevy country and for good reason. You know what other brand you don’t see on a TAWA list? Kia. That basically makes Chevy the equivalent of a damn Ko-ree-an pushcart. And if you driving one of them, well, you might as well just go and make an appointment with a gynecologist if you get my drift. No offense, some of my best friends are freelancers, but I think you get what I mean. No man drives a Chevy looking for ‘truck points’ from the state of Texas.”

Having posted a viral article sharing his thoughts, Hubbard set the Internet ablaze earlier this year – fueling two very separate camps. The first consisted of those looking to persecute all of Texas for one man’s small-minded opinion. The second consisted of those who began to question Chevy’s inability to produce a truck worthy of Texan validation.

And while ‘King’ Ken Hubbard is hardly the official spokesman of the Lone Star State (in spite of his influence) it’s hard to ignore the absence of Chevy vehicles on their statistical list of favorites. For that reason, we reached out to the Texas Auto Writers Association in the hope of gaining a better understanding of the reasoning. A source, who requested to remain anonymous had this to offer.

“You know what other brand you don’t see on a TAWA list? Kia…”

And that’s when we hung up the phone…pffft…f*cking Texas.

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