With all the live auto news coming out of Geneva last month, it’ would be easy to get distracted by such amazing vehicles as the Koenigsegg Jesko or Bugatti Voiture Noire. But here at The Lemon, we’re a little more than embarrassed to admit that our heart was stolen by one vehicle, and one vehicle alone.
That of which we speak, of course, is the Volkswagen I.D. Buggy concept, a resurrection/re-imagining of the classic 1970’s Dune Buggy, albeit with a polished, tech-centric update. Why? Because nothing is built to endure the rigors of sand, dirt and moisture quite like 21 touchscreens are.
Described by one reviewer as ‘immensely impractical,’ the I.D. Buggy grabs your attention, because something so ‘fun-based’ seems off-brand. Are you looking for a sleek, refined performance car with unparalleled performance? Sure, call the Germans. Looking to cut loose, get down and dirty and break some rules? Well, unless we’re talking about a German infantryman with deserter tendencies back in WWII, Deutschland is the wrong place to look. Well, unless it’s late September or early October.
But (Oktoberfest aside, and) as compelling an offering as we find the I.D. Buggy to be, there are some unsettling undertones that we’ve been collectively overlooking since 1973. Ominous warnings were lurking patiently in between the quiet moments of early 70’s Saturday morning…
If you’re thinking, “Oh Shit. The promise of harmless, recreational fun from Germans in the form of an I.D. Buggy is clearly a Trojan Horse-level operation meant to normalize their intent of creating conscious, free-thinking vehicles as the next stage of autonomous vehicle development and force their rule upon as well”…well…I’m right there with you, friend. And damn it, so is my friend (and freelance automotive writer) Rabbi Sydney Kveller!
Now, as responsible journalists, we’re required to clarify that any association drawn between VW’s long-term plans and the preceding cartoon from 1973 are purely speculative on our part. Second, if you’re younger than 58 and made it past 53 seconds watching that clip (or god forbid, stayed until the end) you’re a ‘special kind of sad’.
But all talk of depression aside, the idea of a non-human mobile police force is scary enough. Faster. Stronger. Never Get Tired. Make them German, and you can feel secure in your suspicion that things are heading in the wrong direction. Ask the Jews, they’ll tell you. So, while there’s no indication that the Bavarian automaker is currently planning to (i) link the I.D. Buggy to a human mind, or (ii) influence their DNA in order to create new life which exists solely to enforce compliance to a single will…are we supposed to be ‘not concerned’ about the possibility?
And it’s right about there, in the middle of manic speculation, where we start to realize that we might be overreacting. I mean, if scientists—especially scientists from a foreign government with which we have been historically misaligned—were to develop something so dangerous to the status quo, we’d probably know about it.
Considering the lack of any documented proof of the Germans possessing ‘a cumulative and complete ABSENCE of intentions to create the world’s first do-gooding human/recreational automobile hybrid,’ we’d say the burden of proof has fallen upon their critics and accusers.
We’re looking at YOU, Jews…