Denver, CO – A recent advertisement from the Denver Outfitters tire center and truck dealership has caught the ire of a local dominatrix.
For those who live the rugged life of off-roading, any vehicle with a substantial towing and payload capacity has probably come through Denver Outfitters at one point or another. This small company takes great pride in the vehicles they carry and the facilitation of its customers’ diverse lifestyles. However, one of their advertisements has incensed the city’s renowned dominatrix Madame Madeleine, and she is threatening to take legal action against the family-owned fixture of the Denver auto area.
It all began with a new advertising campaign the dealership implemented a few months back. The commercial, which begins with two little boys playing in the sandbox, is innocent at first, with the children playing with their toy trucks and laughing. A narrator then says, “Still like playing in the sandbox, but have outgrown your toys? Come by Denver Outfitters. Our trucks have the ability to help you carry all your adult toys wherever you need to go.”
Denver Outfitters has a long track record as one of the ideal off-roading dealerships in the area, and floor manager Peter Greenhorn described the meaning of the advertisement, saying, “It’s not that hard to figure out. ATVs, quads, and dirt bikes—these are all ‘toys’ for grown-ups. Adults who still love playing in the dirt. Anyone who knows about us is well aware that we’re a dealership. Hell, we opened the ad with two kids playing with trucks. How could anyone possibly misinterpret that?”
Those familiar with the field of marketing will likely commiserate, as even the slightest of unclear terms can be interpreted as something else entirely. Unfortunately for Denver Outfitters, that’s precisely what happened with dominatrix Madame Madeleine, who showed up to their location with great enthusiasm only to leave feeling cruelly disappointed. The sex worker arrived at the dealership with what she described as “an unrelenting desire and libido to get a new supply of dildos, lubricants, and restraints—and maybe a ball gag or two.”
While “Fifty Shades of Grey” has certainly sparked a lot of interest in bondage and sadomasochism, it appears the misinformation spread by that film and book franchise has even reached those who are knowledgeable about the subject. “The ad says ‘come’ and ‘adult toys’ in the same sentence. I had to reschedule a meeting with a client who likes to get peed on just so I could go stock up on some goodies, only to be let down worse than a man who can’t get it up.”
She then went on to voice her anger at the misleading ad and threatened legal action due to the misunderstanding. “I can get lube at Wal-Mart, and the best these little fuckwads can do is offer me some motor oil and five dollars off of my next oil change.”
Her threats of legal action don’t concern the staff at Denver Outfitters, however, as Greenhorn explained candidly. “Look, I can empathize that someone would be upset for misinterpreting some of the information we presented in our advertising. But anyone with half a brain can see that we’re an auto dealership. The lifted RAM 1500 we have parked on top of our showroom should have a clear indication that we don’t specialize in fetish toys and other tools to get your freak on.”
It’s unclear when or if Madame Madeleine plans on filing her claim, but we will be sure to update you as this story develops.
