GMC Launches Rival to Space-X Program

Walter White is in a space suit on a space station.

Once again, in our history, the space race is heating up. With multiple private and public enterprises diving onto the space exploration bandwagon, GMC is officially trading in its all-American overalls for a futuristic space suit and edgy new approach to doing business. Gone are the days when new GMC trucks for sale made headlines for the company. Now GMC spacecrafts are just beyond the horizon.

As an inquisitive reporter, I couldn’t resist following this story to get to the mysterious genius behind GMC’s latest venture. What could be driving this traditional, wholesome brand to take on the eccentric wildcard, Space-X? Our investigation led us to a place we could never have expected—an ominous basement with a little more to the story than your typical GMC factory.

During my quest, I managed to secure interviews with some of the great minds behind the General Motors Space division. It wasn’t long before I found out that one man was running the show. That’s right; I sat down with the infamous executive heading-up the program, Wallace White.

GMC VP Wallace White was a humble, unassuming middle-aged gentleman with a keen eye for space exploration. After his cancer diagnosis, Mr. White’s career took a sharp turn from conventional car sales to an obsession with total domination of the earth’s marketplace and beyond. Our initial discussion quickly jumped from calm and collected to a deeper intention that seemed out of GMC’s usual realm, no pun intended.

What started off as an insightful discussion with a brilliant and grounded family man, slowly unraveled into an unsettling, and at times sinister, exposure of a man’s relentless drive for power. Not only did this latest space program use some questionable business practices, but Mr. White’s less-than-professional high school dropout of an intern seemed like more of a thug than a scientist.

After our meeting, I couldn’t help but be left with an uneasy feeling that this rogue GMC VP was acting alone. With no other GMC team members privy to work being done in the clandestine basement plant (the home of GMC’s space research), there’s definitely a bit more to the story than I was able to discover on my first visit.

A GIF of Walter White saying 'You're God Damn Right' is shown.

After speaking with other workers in the building, my suspicions were quickly confirmed. I wasn’t the only one wondering what GMC’s new space program was really all about.

Several GMC engineers mentioned suspicious activity stemming from the basement, including unpleasant fumes, unfamiliar (or as some would say, alien) sounds, and a palpable tension that was continually building between VP White and his questionable subordinate. Overnight workers reported even stranger activity, with unspeakable sights and sounds that could not be shared with the media at this time for fear of grave retaliation.

Jesse Pinkman is giving middle fingers in front of a Chevy car at a GM press conference for GMC trucks for sale.
Taken at a 2019 press conference, a clear depiction of the tumultuous relationship between GM and White’s subordinate Jesse Pinkman.

It’s clear that compromising the secrecy behind Wallace White and GMC’s Space Program is not tolerated under any circumstances. While we’ll continue to follow this story for future developments, from now on… It’ll be from a distance. Until then, Elon Musk and his Space X program will just have to anticipate the latest move of their ruthless competitor. Or they can dare to face Mr. White directly if they’re willing to handle the consequences, that is.


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