Picture this: you get into your car, which is an aggressive shade of dark blue, struggle to get hold of the steering wheel due to your heavy, feminine breasts, and realize that your hips just won’t fit into a standard car seat. Sound familiar, ladies? I know you’re all shaking your head “yes,” so I’ve got good news. Head to your favorite Kia Forte dealer to check out the all-new Kia Forte XX, the first car designed exclusively for women.
Made for a Strong, Independent Woman
According to head designer at Kia, Todd Bronson, it was very important that “This is a car for ladies that women will want to drive.” As such, the exterior has been redesigned with soft curves and swooping lines to accent your femininity. The side windows have been reverse tinted so that it’s possible to see into them, but you can’t see out through them; that way, men can leer at you, but you won’t feel their threatening male gaze.
While Kia has not released all of the information for the Forte XX just yet, they’ve revealed it will be available in several exclusive colors. It comes in Flamingo Pink, standard, with Princess Bubblegum Pink, Cotton Candy Pink, and Blush Pink available. No other colors are offered on the Forte XX.
Interior for a Strong Woman
The inside of the Kia Forte XX has also been fully redesigned with the needs of women in mind. For example, the padded seat belts lift and separate, providing you with the support you deserve. The glove compartment looks stylish and functional, though it is only about a quarter-inch deep, so it won’t actually fit anything in it. You also get a pointed-toe brake pedal that can be very painful to use, but it makes your calves and butt look great when coming to a stop.
Designer Chad Johnson said, “We wanted to really make sure women would have everything they need available to them while driving. So we originally had the central storage compartment filled with 100 tampons for a lady’s special needs. After some internal brainstorming with the guys, however, we were worried that wouldn’t be enough, so now the interior is just filled with tampons. All of the seats, consoles, and airbags are loaded with tampons, so we don’t have to run to the store and buy them for you.”
A Strong Woman’s Tech Features
A number of new systems have been developed and introduced for the Kia Forte XX, including improved Navigation systems with turn-by-turn directions. The Navigation comes on automatically and starts by asking you about your day; then, it will provide directions to you. Fortunately, this system functions whether you want it to or not, always giving you directions, criticizing how fast you’re driving, and telling you that you should’ve chosen a different route, even when you follow its directions.
Chief Engineer on the project, Brock Toughman, told me, “We wanted to make sure our female customers were safe on the road, even when we weren’t there to tell them how to drive.” The Kia Forte XX features an all-new Driver Hormone Alert system, which detects hormone levels and stress of the driver. It will shut down automatically when a woman-driver becomes “hysterical” or “emotional” in order to avoid collisions.
Options for Strong Women
There is also a wide range of exciting options and other features being introduced for the Kia Forte XX for women. For example, Kia has provided a helpful new seating size system in order to meet the specific needs of ladies behind the wheel. You’ll be able to choose the Kia Forte XX in sizes 0, 2, 4, 10, 14, and 18. It should be noted, however, that each dealership sets the meaning for these sizes, so the seat that fits you at one dealer won’t be the same at another.
The all-new “underwire” chassis developed by the engineers at Kia features strong support for the vehicle’s frame. Once you take the Kia Forte XX through a carwash, however, the metal wires of the support will break and stick through the body of the vehicle, stabbing you every time you get in. You’ll also need to take the Forte XX to the carwash every week, but after washing it, you cannot take it through the hot-air dryer, or it will shrink the interior and further damage the chassis.
See you on the road, ladies!
Editor’s Note: We reached out to Kia for more information about this new model. In response, we were informed that it is currently set to be tested in certain markets and was in limited supply to order online, though it would be available in-store in another state. Marketing for the Forte XX has already begun on Pinterest, Jezebel, and Good Housekeeping’s website. Thank you.