2024 Chevy Trailblazer - Cannibals

Chevy Trailblazer That Went Missing While Exploring the Amazon Presumed to be Eaten by...

It was several months ago when an expedition consisting of Ruggero Yates, Edward Monroe, and Faye Jonas left to explore the Amazon region. While...
A red 2024 Ford Escape for sale is shown from the side on fire.

Ford Announces Self-Destruct Feature for the 2024 Ford Escape

For those of you who consider yourselves tech-savvy, recent innovations made throughout the automotive industry must be a source of considerable excitement. Many are...
A green 2022 Subaru Outback is shown from the front in front of a tree after leaving a Subaru Outback dealer.

I Met the First Subaru Outback Driver That Isn’t a Treehugger

You've probably heard the rumors, murmurs, and jokes; Subaru Outback drivers are all total tree-hugging, granola-munching, PETA-loving hippies. Traditionally, if you pulled into the...
A basketball coach is shown standing near a brown 1999 Ford Excursion trying to find used SUVs for sale.

Florida Man Still Drives Ford Excursion, Claims It Has Nothing to Do With Size...

DAYTONA BEACH, FL — The SUV has achieved widespread popularity as the ideal choice of transportation in modern America, and a major part of...
A closeup of a tire is shown after criminals deflated the tires of a used SUV for sale.

Tire-Deflating Eco-Terrorists Could Face Unique Punishment

Those searching for a used SUV for sale can rest easy after a band of scofflaws has been put behind bars for a spree...
A grey 2022 Honda Pilot and a black 2022 Kia Telluride are shown parked next to a glass of wine during a 2022 Honda Pilot vs 2022 Kia Telluride comparison.

Chapter VI: In Which a Letter Is Received and Answered

As an impartial witness to the machinations and madness of the auto industry, I try not to get directly involved in the lives of...
A spaceship is shown flying over a desert during a 2022 Chevy Trailblazer vs the 2022 Honda HR-V comparison.

SUVs Compete for Role in New Star Wars Series

Two of America’s most popular SUVs are vying for a place in an upcoming Star Wars spin-off that follows the post-film exploits of one...
A silver 2022 Chevy Trax is shown next to a dumpster fire during a 2024 Chevy Trax vs 2022 Chevy Trax comparison.

New 2024 Chevy Trax Promises To Be “Blatantly Worse” Than 2022 Chevy Trax

In a bizarre press announcement, Chevrolet has announced that their new 2024 Chevy Trax will be purposefully inferior to the 2022 model of the...
A close up shows the tachometer of a 2022 Nissan Murano with text stating 'high gas prices upend trade-in values.'

High Gas Prices Upend Trade-In Values

Each year millions of drivers trade in an older vehicle to finance their next purchase. It’s a useful system, allowing drivers to make room...
An orange 2022 Chevy Blazer is before arriving at a Chevrolet Cincinnati OH.

Lansford Hastings Edition of the Chevy Blazer to Arrive Soon

While special editions of popular automobiles are certainly nothing new, Chevy recently announced a new version of the Blazer that’s set to arrive at...
A book is shown sitting on a table next to tools while a mechanic works on a 2023 Chevy Blazer.

Local Mechanic Channels “Eat Pray Love” In Debut Memoir “Intake Compression Exhaust”

Inspired by the novel and film of the same name, one local mechanic has decided to lay down his socket wrench and pick up...
4 people are shown talking after leaving a dealer that specializes in used Jeeps for sale.

Focus Group of White Males Determines Jeep Cherokee Is Not Offensive

There’s no doubt that cultural sensibilities have changed a great deal in recent years. Among the points of contention that are being addressed are...
A white 2020 Nissan Kicks is shown leading a group of police cars after leaving a certified Nissan Kicks dealer.

O.J. Simpson Recreates Infamous High-Speed Chase With a Nissan Kicks

It’s been remarked before that any publicity, regardless of what the intention might be, is good publicity. With a new model year on the...
A black 2022 Terradyne Gurkha is shown parked in a wasteland after leaving an SUV dealer near you.

Weaponize Your SUV With These 3 Simple Tricks!

Dear reader, I’m going to start by pulling off the adhesive medical strip real quick: the world is ending, and we’re all doomed. I...
A white 2022 Toyota Highlander is shown from the front at an angle next to a Toyota symbol after leaving a Toyota Highlander dealer.

Toyota Production Cutbacks Mean That There Can Be Only One Highlander Made in 2023

With the worldwide microchip shortage still wreaking havoc across the scope of the automotive industry, cutbacks have been made all over. For many manufacturers,...
Cows are shown loaded into the back of a Blue 2022 Ford Explorer and a silver 2022 Chevy Traverse during a 2022 Ford Explorer vs 2022 Chevy Traverse comparison.

Ford Explorer and Chevy Traverse: SUVs of Extraordinary Taste

Friends, if you’re anything like me, you won’t buy a vehicle – or even take it for a test drive – without doing a...
A red 2023 Chevy Traverse is shown on the highway to hell being held up by a pig with a large shadowy figure in the background.

Three Secrets Chevy Won’t Tell You About the 2023 Traverse

Friends, as you know, I'm here to peel back the yellowed skin of the auto industry and reveal to you the hidden truths of...
The battle of the 2022 Toyota Highlander vs 2022 Honda Pilot is shown.

Which Is Better: Toyota Highlander or Honda Pilot?

If you’re shopping for a vehicle, then you have a lot of decisions to make and a wide range of options to choose from....
A red 2023 Chevy Equinox RS is shown from the front.

Top 5 Reasons I Drive a Chevy Equinox

You might not know this about me, gentle reader, but I’m a of refined tastes and exceptional demands when it comes to a...
A used SUV for sale near you, a grey Chevy Equinox, is shown equipped with a Raytheon missile launcher.

Russia’s Loss is America’s Gain as Traffic Becomes Less of a Hassle

There's a lot of excitement regarding the upcoming 2023 model year. Many of the different brands that are scattered across the entire scope of...