I Hope My ‘Garbage Human’ Neighbors Die Soon (a Haiku)
So, I hate my neighbors. They’re garbage humans, and their shithole of a yard feels like an outdoors episode of ‘Hoarders’. Of the umpteen vehicles littering the property, I’m unsure which (if any) are functional, which are being used for parts and which may (or may not) be used cars for sale. Music blasts, engines rev, and profanities are...
Mobile DNA Lab Challenges Povich for Rights to Urban Paternity Testing
“Who’s Your Daddy?” That’s the question being asked around the city of Detroit by one Dr. Willie Lopez, and a question which he feels is pertinent to a staggering 64% of the city’s children under the age of twelve. A longtime practitioner at the Southern Detroit Free Clinic, Dr. Lopez is a certified OBGYN who has serviced the community...
The Chevy Bolt is a Trap (Unless You’re a Fan of Anal Probes)
Having taken a close look at the model year offerings from almost every major lineup, there seems to be a fairly significant split from those automakers who “go above and beyond” and those you “just get by”. This is especially evident among the more economical domestic automakers, with some creating inspired offerings that depict an evolution towards the car...
Co-Workers (Re)United By Coincidence During Used Car Search
Meet Brandon, Lisa and Josh…three 20-somethings united by their age, and shared employer. Like many co-workers, theirs is a relationship based on commonalities, with 40-50 hours a week spent in each others’ company, often discussing things that they have in common. And of the many things which they do have in common, they had remained largely ignorant of a...
Body-Swap Mystery Puzzles Small Massachusetts Community
Gardner, MA - It was 4:18 AM on Saturday, July 7th when the Gardner Police Department was dispatched to the scene of a motor vehicle accident reported by the early morning prep staff of a local Dunkin' Donuts. No, not the Dunkin’ Donuts diagonally across the street from the Police Station. Also, not the one on Timpany Boulevard. And,...
Honda: The Unlikely New Battleground in the Vaccination Debate
If you’re shopping for a new crossover, and have been comparing the 2018 Ford EcoSport vs. 2018 Honda HR-V, you might find a lot more information to sway you towards Ford. And while we’d normally encourage you only to be as discerning in your investigation as you feel comfortable with, this might be the one time that we advise...
CU Boulder Researchers Create BioMetric to Optimize Car-Buying
Boulder, CO - The act of buying a new car can be daunting, especially to discriminating consumers who pride themselves on making the best possible choice. Not only are there countless hours of research, measuring various makes, models and trim levels to ensure that you’ve found the best fit (before you ever set foot on a dealer lot) but...
Disney & Marvel Gain THE X-MEN Franchise, and Automakers Want IN!
“Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.”
King James Bible, Matthew 5:5
“Ugh. The geeks will inherit our parking and fuck everything up.”
James Matthew, San Diego (re: Comic Con)
In recent decades, our society has evolved to a point where it is no longer considered taboo for adults to embrace the more childlike aspects of their existence. Now, to...
Zaxx Raptor: Inside the Mind of a Genius
As of late, industry headlines seem to indicate that Ford is committed to the proposition of reinventing themselves as a truly innovative automaker. From the announcement that they would be phasing out their current car lineup to make way for more evolved options, to the resurrection of such iconic offerings as the Bronco, Ford seems to have realized that...
The Unlikely “Buddy Cop” Drama That Never Happened
Have you ever Googled something, then allowed yourself to fall down the rabbit-hole of results scanning page after page until you’ve found something really, really bizarre? That is exactly what happened to Colorado resident, offroad enthusiast (and pop culture trivia buff) Brendan Porter when he performed an online search for Jeep Dealership Denver.
“Sure, the initial results brought me a...
Environmentalists & Wiccans Protest ‘Terrain-Appropriation’ on Behalf of Gaia
Perform an online search comparing the 2018 Chevy Equinox vs 2018 GMC Terrain, and you’re bound to see some new voices being added to the debate. In fact, if you’ve logged into Social Media you might have already received an invite, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
These days you don’t even need to venture outside of your Facebook...
GMC Sets Their Eyes on Christmas
There’s nothing really new about ‘Holiday Promotions” when it comes to the automotive industry. From President’s Day to Labor Day, the average consumer sees an endless string of sales and promotions that are designed to move more units off of dealership lots.
This relentless mindset has evolved further to integrate crossover marketing into its bag of tricks. As if appropriating...
FINALLY! The Villains Get a Little…Love?
What do the following automobiles have in common?
1935 Bentley Mark IV
1957 Ford Fairlane
1962 Sunbeam Albine Series II
1967 Toyota 2000 GT
1969 Mercury Cougar XR-7
1971 Ford Mustang Mach 1
1974 AMC Hornet X Hatchback
1981 Lotus Esprit Essex Turbo
1995 BMW Z3
1997 BMW 750iL
Okay fine…the title and image of this piece probably gave the...
Automotive Industry Contributes Towards Sleep Studies
The phrase “sleep studies” will elicit drastically different responses depending on the audience. Some immediately associate the term with the horrific and unnatural experimentation orchestrated by Nazi scientists in the 1930’s and 1940’s. (Note: if you’re not familiar with the aforementioned experiments, we recommend that you don’t explore that particular rabbit hole, unless you ready for things you can...
#UsedChevyTrucksWithAshley
It goes without saying that we here at THE LEMON take great pride in finding unique and interesting stories within the automotive industry. I mean, sure…you might go to ‘Car and Driver,’ ‘edmunds.com' or some other more reputable site for your hardcore news and research, but if you want to hear about the legal battle between KIA and the...
SOLO Offers up the Next Star Wars-Inspired Vehicle
SOLO Offers up the Next STAR WARS-Inspired VehicleSince the dawn of film, radio, and television the power of advertising revenue has had a major influence in the outcome of films. Through either strategic product placement, corporate sponsorship or well-timed media campaigns, the entertainment industry as a whole is just another means by which companies compel us to buy their...
Lamest Friendship Pact Ever Leads to Tandem Suicide
In these often confusing times, judgment runs rampant. Not only are there so many individuals who fear societal change, be it interracial marriage or gender diversity, but the connectivity offered by social media makes it all too simple to preach one’s beliefs from behind a digital pulpit. The result can represent bullying in its various forms, often with dire...
Direct-to-Car Amazon Deliveries Are Just the Beginning
It was recently announced that the convenience of shopping through Amazon Prime would be enhanced for certain customers, as long as they drove either a GM or Volvo vehicle, equipped with Onstar or Volvo-on-Call, respectively. If pre-approved by the Amazon Prime customer, this new service would allow Amazon to access the vehicle’s connective technologies to gain access to the...
Caddy Dealer Proves That Not Everything is Bigger in Texas
It’s one of the most iconic cliches in the United States; the claim that “Everything is Bigger in Texas.” Here are some fun facts that help to serve as the basis:
Texas is the largest state in the contiguous United States, accounting for 7.4% of its landmass.
Its’ gross domestic product is estimated at $1.43 trillion, accounting for 8.5% of the...
The REAL Reason Trump Threatened to Cancel Singapore Meeting with Kim Jong-Un
Depending on which side of the aisle your affiliations lie, it’s difficult to argue the historical significance of the Singapore-based face-to-face between United States President Donald Trump and North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un. This is, after all, the first meeting of sitting U.S. President and a leader of the reclusive nation. The result: a tenuous bilateral agreement capable of...
