“Friend-Zoned”? GMC Understands
Every day, hundreds of thousands of men and women around the globe find themselves afflicted with a crippling disorder which ushers in countless long-term adverse effects. Depression, weight gain, social anxieties and an inability to maintain effective relationships are examples of such effects, rendering the victim diminished in both their mental and physical health, as well as inaccessible socially....
SJW Community Takes Aim at Mud Flaps
Bucklick, SC - Meet Cecil B. Madell, a professional truck driver of 19 years, devoted husband, father of three, fan of classic country and western music, Nascar enthusiast and amateur drag racer. Working 60 hours a week on average, Cecil has reduced the length of his routes in order to spend more time with his family. Contributing approximately $52,000...
Columbus Dealership “Escape Room” Promo Turns Dark
The premise of a Buy Here Pay Here car dealership is simple. Rather than utilize a third party lender to finance the customer’s purchase, the dealership acts as the lender with the customer making payments directly to them. Such services can benefit buyers with challenged credit who may have been otherwise unable to secure financing and (through the right...
Senate Grills CEO of General Motors
As if pulled from some kind of Libertarian nightmare, recent months have presented us with coverage of what feels like a record-setting amount of congressional and governmental inquiries. Compounded with press conferences detailing the hirings and firings of Presidential appointments, the nation feels torn between the burdensome desire for knowledge and the luxury of ignorance. And in a land...
NE Fans Call Denver-based Cross Marketing of Ford Bronco “Wicked Quee-ah”
For New England football fans, 2018 is shaping up to be a hard year. It seems as though the hits keep coming, adding fuel to the fire of the regions trademarked hardness and emotionally-detached negativity.
On February 4th, during Super Bowl LII, New England Patriots Quarterback, Tom Brady, completed 28 of 48 passes totaling 505 yards. Resulting in 3 TD’s...
FORD: The Dangerous New Street Drug All Parents Need to Know About
To: The Editor
Fr: A Concerned Parent
Praise the Lord for internet search histories. As the God-fearing mother of a 15-year old boy, I recently became aware of my son’s interest in acquiring illegal narcotics. How did I find out? Simply by monitoring his internet use and understanding that kids refer to drugs using nonsensical slang.
Mary Jane. Nose Candy. Tweak. Molly....
Southwest Airlines Takes Aim at RAM Trucks for #DoingItWrong”
Last month, Southwest Airlines Flight 1380 from New York to Dallas made global news after engine failure and a blown-out window on the Boeing 737 forced an emergency landing. However, the tragedy itself (including the fatal injuries suffered by Jennifer Riordan of Albuquerque, New Mexico) seemed relegated to a secondary headline.
More prevalent across all news media was the (mid-tragedy)...
Asian Countries Concerned About “Electrified” Vehicles
It is an unspoken rule of communication that ‘word choice matters,’ even more-so when there is a ‘language barrier’ in place. Even the most unintentional misuse of a word, gesture or a vague phonetic similarity could cause result in anything from an awkward misunderstanding to an international incident. Perhaps this risk is most recently evidenced by a misstep made...
Jeep Spanks JL Fan with April Fools Joke
Ah, the internet. Between deceptive clickbait headlines, political Facebook memes and the ever-enjoyable rabbit hole that is Reddit, it can be very simple to feed our human tendency towards self-deception. And it’s thanks to the power of the Internet, that Fiat-Chrysler and Jeep have managed to pull off one of the most impressive April Fool’s gags ever.
Among enthusiasts and...
Cinco de Mayo Sale Lands Hyundai Dealership in Hot Water
Cultural appropriation, not only is it a widely-discussed topic in these sensitive times of social unrest, but it’s something that we’re all somewhat guilty of. Even those of us with the most open of hearts and minds have been guilty of getting black-out drunk on St. Patricks Day, cheered for a sports team whose mascot is based on a...
Cloned Vehicles Causing Controversy in the US
A Kentucky car dealership has teamed up with local scientists in an attempt to completely revolutionize the industry. Predictably, similar to any good thing, there are plenty of opponents who don’t want the test to see the light of day.
Dolly Cologne, the owner of Dolly’s Deals in Kentucky, was recently approached by an elderly customer who was looking to...
Infiniti War? Marvel Studios Decline Cross-Marketing Opportunity
Despite the slew of negative press which Hollywood has endured on this hopeful journey towards a more enlightened and equitable society, there are few obstacles in the way of the action-packed summer and holiday blockbuster films that we have come to both expect and enjoy with equal levels of glee. Among this year’s offering, we can look forward to...
FDA Approves Vehicles to Treat Erectile Dysfunction
The American medical community was shocked this week, when a press release from the Food and Drug Administration announced that a revolutionary treatment had proven effective-enough during trials, to receive the administration’s coveted approval. That treatment…is automotive, ranging from muscle cars and powerful trucks to motorcycles and high-end utility vehicles such as those offered by Land Rover.
At age 54,...
Dodge DUI? Chevy Chlamydia? SERIOUSLY?!
Here in the United States, the American mindset towards driving is almost intrinsically tied to a sense of adventure and a desire to explore. One might liken it to an automotive manifest destiny, urging us to conquer untraveled roads, unhindered by uncertainty or fear of the unknown. But this sensibility applies to more than just ‘how’ we drive. In...
AMA Verifies “Crossover Fatigue” as Medical Condition
Cincinnati, OH - On an overcast Saturday morning, Gabriel and Donna MacAvoy loaded their three children inside of their 2009 Ford Escape, and pulled out of their suburban driveway. Their intended destinations, after a quick stop at the local Starbucks, were their local Ford and Chevy dealerships.
Just as countless American families do every day, the MacAvoy family was car...
Chevy Misfires with the Alexa
As pointed out in the now-famous meme, people of the 1960’s were cautious of things they shared over the telephone fearing that the government had wire-tapped their house. Now, we excitedly invite the wiretap into our homes and ask it how to make pancakes. Of course, we’re talking about the recent wave of voice-activated virtual assistants, the most common...
High-School Students Mobilize Over Chevy Lease Deals
Washington D.C. - In the streets of our nation’s capital, and in 3,000 cities throughout the United States, high school students and their supporters stand united, mobilized in the face of a common threat. That threat? No, not guns (I mean, don’t get us wrong, that’s happening too) but something else has managed to draw the ire of Generation...
Mazda Criticized for Obsessive Narcissism
Proving that no-one in today’s society is innocent (until a completely unrelated party states that they’re not personally offended by them) automaker Mazda now finds itself on the receiving end of a class-action lawsuit.
The lawsuit, initiated by a conglomeration of unnamed automakers, claims that Mazda has threatened to ‘destabilize the entire automotive industry as a result of its obsessive...
Are the Indianapolis Colts Getting Sold in the Worst Way Possible?
It has been just over eleven years since the Indianapolis Colts brought the Lombardi Trophy home to Lucas Oil Stadium for the first time in nearly four decades. Wrapping up the 2017-18 season tied second-to-last in the AFC South, the Colts’ General Manager Chris Ballard has a lot of eyes on him in the weeks leading up to the...
Cherokee vs. Equinox (This is NOT a Race)
When asked to compare the 2018 Jeep Cherokee vs. 2018 Chevy Equinox, only one question sprang into my head: which one is faster? This might seem odd but, at the end of the day, I’m a muscle car enthusiast who just asked to review two compact crossovers. So, to appease me let’s view the following showdown between the Cherokee,...
