Area Resident Tries Desperately to Prove His Excitement About the 2023 Honda Pilot
COLUMBIA, TN — There's no doubt that the SUV has been experiencing an overwhelming surge in popularity for the past several years. Many consider it the ideal vehicle for the family-oriented consumer, and it is continually proving to be more economical than a minivan.
Case in point is Tony Verde, a Columbia resident looking to get behind the wheel of...
How AI Accidentally Sent Me 2,500 Trucks
The emergence of AI technology has many people excited, some terrified, and some angry. I was never really sure where I stood on the issue until recently. See, I use an AI-driven app to make all sorts of purchases for my life. When I want to find a used inkjet printer for under $100 in my city, I just...
Five Most Shocking Features of the All-New Toyota Tacoma
Ever since it first hit the road, the Toyota Tacoma has been one of the most popular trucks out there, particularly if you’re not interested in all of the size and capability of a full-size pickup. The Tacoma started its life as a compact model, but it’s been a midsize truck for many years now. Recently, Toyota announced the...
5 Reasons I’d Rather Live in a 2024 Buick Encore GX Avenir Than an Apartment
I don’t know if you’ve looked at the cost of rent in major cities lately, but if you want to live somewhere with nice materials and finishes, central heating, and decent storage, you need to make a bajillion dollars. You can check my math on that one. I recently saw a super cute little cardboard replica of a house,...
How Is the Nissan Frontier Different From the Honda Ridgeline?
Great question, I’m so glad you asked. For one thing, I was already going to answer this question so whether you asked it or not. The information was going to spew forth from me into the formless ether of the Internet. And for another thing, it really is worth your time to consider the 2023 Nissan Frontier vs 2023...
Marjorie Taylor Greene Accuses Toyota of Attempting to Undermine American Infrastructure
WASHINGTON, DC — To say the past few years have been a tumultuous period for American politics would certainly be an understatement. Our political division as its widest since the Reagan Administration, and even following America's flirtation with fascism and an attempted insurrection, the road to becoming united once again is long, perilous, and becoming more of an impossibility.
No...
True Patriots Show Patriotism via Patriotic Patriotism!
Friends, as you know, it’s Independence Day, the Fourth of July, when Jesus Christ delivered the Declaration of Independence to America some 247 years ago! Ever since that sacred event, true and real patriotic Americans have been celebrating the only ways that are proper: cooking and eating outdoors, shooting guns, blowing shit up, and buying cars! If you don’t...
Three of the Most Exciting Trails for the Jeep Wrangler
In the auto industry, there is nothing quite like the remarkable freedom afforded by the Jeep Wrangler. Ford would like to pretend that the Bronco provides some stiff competition, but really, it’s not even close. Whether you’re planning on heading to your nearest Jeep Wrangler dealer, or you’re just sitting in the waiting room of your doctor’s office and...
Three Secrets Chevy Won’t Tell You About the 2023 Traverse
Friends, as you know, I'm here to peel back the yellowed skin of the auto industry and reveal to you the hidden truths of its steaming innards. I hold myself to the highest standards of journalistic integrity, which means I live to provide you with facts that other so-called journalists are too afraid to tell you about. Take the...
One Man’s Brave Journey
“I bought a Honda CR-V, and now I can’t stop graining on that wood!” These are the words that captured my attention when I read them in an email I received. Yes, so great was the impact these words had upon me that I set down my bagel, took a slow drink of coffee, considered resuming my recently abandoned...
Chevy Dealers Replacing Salespeople With AI
In case you've missed the news, artificial intelligence (AI) is being employed to disrupt every industry. New programs are released almost constantly, pushing the envelope of what computer software can do. Not content with only replacing artists, writers, and research scientists, these exciting new AI programs are also coming to a Chevy Silverado 1500 dealer near you, superseding the...
Three Ways to Profit off the Lack of EV Charging Stations
Sitting here atop a mountain and looking out over the vast stretches of wilderness surrounding this bunker of mine, something is clear to me. More electric vehicles (EVs) are hitting the road here in America, but we lack the infrastructure to keep up with them. Am I saying this based purely on what I can see around me? No,...
Magician David Blaine Locks Himself Inside a Ford Escape
While they might seem like complete opposites from one another, the automobile industry and those who are known as magicians and illusionists aren’t too different from one another. Both are quite remarkable and have captured the public’s imagination. Year after year, we continue to be fascinated with the individual feats they perform. And while there are makes and models...
Wiccan Chevy Driver Finds Creative Workaround for Seasonal Ritual
Crystal Moon, leader of a Wiccan coven outside Los Angeles, considers herself "in tune" with the passage of time. From dances during the summer solstice to PSL pilgrimages during the autumnal equinox, she always leads her coven in activities that align with the changing seasons. But when it came to the spring equinox this year, she let the group's...
Opinion: Electricity Is NOT Your Friend!
Hey freedom lovers, Pat the Patriot here. I've been thinking... We all have to do our part to keep God's house green—I get that; that's why I planted a tree last year. But, you know, there's a limit to what we HAVE to do, and what we should be SUBJECT to.
I visited my sister's husband's workplace the other day,...
Ram Unveils New Trim Names for Pride Month
Summer is nearly here, which means that Pride Month is right around the corner and companies are already figuring out the best way to crassly grab at all that woke profit. Few businesses do performative allyship quite like the auto industry, and Ram is leading the pack this time around. According to my sources inside Ram, their head of...
Rugged-Looking SUVs With Killer On-Road Capability
The sights and sounds of untouched wilderness... The thrill of racing through open deserts at top speed... The adrenaline rush of climbing over giant boulders... These are the sensations that compel people to take their vehicles off-road. If you want to deal with something called a "death wobble," you can get yourself a Jeep Wrangler, and the local OHV...
I Tried to Buy a Ford Escape and Stumbled Into an Underground Operation
I was recently shopping around for a used Ford Escape for sale. My friend had warned me that today there are a lot of “code words” people put in listings for all sorts of products for sale and services for hire. I already knew some of these code words. For example, when someone hires a construction company for a...
GMC Announces “De-Ghetto” Trim for Low-Income Drivers
It has been observed by many consumers and industry critics that the extensive fleet of GMC vehicles has become the new Cadillacs. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re equipped with ginormous tail fins. But they have evolved far beyond just being “professional grade” vehicles meant to enhance work on the job site to an elite class that is only...
Ford Jumps on Bandwagon With Their Own Trans Icon
On April 1, 2023, transgender influencer (of those two words, the latter is the objectionable one) Dylan Mulvaney posted a video of herself cracking open a can of Bud Light that had her image on it. The can had been sent to her by the company, and was part of a new ad campaign by Bud Light designed to...
