Always Sunny Season 13 Sponsorship Employs New (Yet Familiar) Tactic
Torrance, CA - 2020 will mark the fiftieth year that automaker Honda has been an active (if not leading) presence in the American car-buying market. And while recent refreshment of enduring offerings such as the Civic and Accord has proven successful, and more recent additions such as the Pilot have bolstered the brand’s popularity, Honda’s executive management team has...
Hairdressers Protest the Camaro out of Fear That Mullets Will Return
Rindge, NH - On one hand, it’s hard to argue that the 2019 Chevy Camaro is an eye-catching example of performance-minded engineering paired with iconic styling and has evolved over time. A vehicle whose enduring popularity over five decades has hit new highs in the past decade. Then again, one might say the same thing about the mullet, a...
Ben Franklin, Schwarzenegger & Cocaine Praised for Chevy’s Hybrid / EV Lineup
The process of naming a vehicle, or family of vehicles, will always differ based on the philosophy of the automaker. Economy automakers might aim to evoke a sense of grand adventure or scale to generate excitement about their offerings. Elitist performance brands might prefer an alphanumeric approach, asserting their newest models is the latest and greatest in their lineage...
2019 Buick Enclave: Official Vehicle of Pre-Menopausal Consumer B*tches From Hell
Judging by the Chevy lineup alone, General Motors is keen to make their expansive awards known to the car-buying community-at-large. And yet, some divisions go largely uncelebrated. Take Buick, for example, which seems almost completely forgotten by a majority of Millennial, Gen-Y and Z car-buyers. But building upon the momentum of a recent award, Buick hopes to reinvigorate their...
Local Corvette Dealer Helps Ed Hardy to Liquidate Slow-Moving Inventory
Culver City, CA - From the Grand Sport to the Z06, and even the chart-topping ZR1, if you’re interested in acquiring a 2019 Chevrolet Corvette one thing is for certain: you’re about to lay down some coin. Buying new, you can plan to spend over $50K for a Corvette and, depending on the model, configuration and features it becomes...
When “DODGE the Father, RAM the Daughter” Goes Horribly Wrong
Sacramento, CA - If you’re spending any amount of time or resources shopping trucks for sale, several automakers including (but not limited to) Ford, Chevy and GMC are doubling down on their offerings on the heels of a well-publicized tragedy that hits FCA’s RAM lineup a little too close to home.
As most of us know, brand loyalties among truck...
Maserati & Aquaman Credited for Recent Spike in Trident Sales
It was the first week in October when social media went abuzz with widespread sharing of the second trailer for James Wan’s Aquaman, after it was presented at New York Comic Con. The extended trailer (which runs over five minutes in length) gives us a look at Jason Momoa’s titular hero, framed within such iconic landscapes as the rocky...
L.A. Legal Battle Erupts Between Dealership and Gentlemen’s Club
Los-Angeles, CA - Los Angeles Dodge dealerships are finding themselves the unintentional victim in a legal battle waging between the badass automaker that they're franchisees of, and a place where a crumpled dollar bill can score you a look at a nipple.
When Dodge, the Fiat-Chrysler owned automaker (whose performance pedigree need-not-be-questioned-here) chose to reassert its longstanding reputation for a...
High-End Matchmaking Services are Making “Certified Pre-Owned Spouses” a Thing
In today’s day-and-age, it seems that a successful business acumen has little to do with picking one area of focus and performing well in that particular area. The desire for growth, expansion and synergy-fueled cross-marketing opportunities have made it tempting for major corporations and their subsidiaries to dip their toes in the proverbial pools of both neighbors and strangers...
GMC Canyon Challenges Honda Ridgeline for “Last to Be Picked in Gym Class”
Bethesda, MD - Do you own a 2019 GMC Canyon? Chevy Suburban? Expedition? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, love the ample passenger and cargo space, and have zero shame, you might be exactly what the Bethesda Motors Group is looking for.
A local high school has partnered with the family of car dealerships to create what...
Why the 2019 Ford Ecosport is a Game-Changer in Treating Clinical Mediocrity
Having just been introduced to the U.S market over a year ago, the 2019 Ford Ecosport may not have a lot of mileage behind it but (according to Ford insiders) it’s about to become the indistinguishable billboard of many Americans who are a ‘little further along’ in their respective life journeys.
Since 1965, psychodynamic theory has lent weight to the...
Bugatti Considering SUV (And in related story, Would Demi Lovato Date a ‘Dad-Bod’?)
When Monday morning rolls around in the office, and someone asks me how my weekend was, they’re probably expecting small-talk about work I got done around the house or how my 13-year old daughter fared in her cheerleading competition. But my arrival in recent weeks have come complete with an added skip in my step, with who else to...
Family Full of Douchebags? Test Drive a Chevy Suburban Today!
According to industry insiders, General Motors has come under fire for recent marketing initiatives built around the 2019 Chevy Suburban. With a starting price point of $50,600 MSRP it seems reasonable that Chevy would build a campaign that targeted the upper-middle class demographic most likely to purchase the Suburban. However, the increasing influence of democratic socialist ideals upon younger...
Increase in Used SUV Sales Linked to Increase in Abductions
Whether you’re exploring makes, models, model years, trim levels or body styles the simple fact is that there’s some sort of audience for each and every vehicle on the road. Selecting that perfect vehicle means finding the one that fits organically with your lifestyle, budget and (yes) personal image. Failure to do so is the equivalent of a seven-foot...
Chevy Presents 2019 SUV Lineup (aka “Billings’ Last Stand”)
Detroit, MI - As recently reported by The Lemon, the marketing team at General Motors has had a rough go of things as of late. Looking to reinvigorate their initiatives to reflect the evolving expectations of Generation Y and Z car-buyers, GM decided to bring Josh Billings onboard, to ‘shake things up’. Branded as some sort of a ‘marketing...
Want to Look “Well-Off” Without any Risk of Sexual Impropriety?
In this era of pursuant equality, political disparity and never-ending coverage of ‘He Said / She Said’ hearings related to sexual impropriety the world has never felt so divided. Fortunately, the majority of us have the daily opportunity to set aside our ‘big picture cynicism’ and focus on the strength, loyalty and support offered by our own personal relationships....
BUMBLEBEE to Introduce Controversial “Non-PC” Transformer (for “Era Accuracy”)
This Christmas, Paramount Pictures releases the newest chapter in the Transformers film franchise in the form of BUMBLEBEE, a prequel centered around the breakout star of Michael Bay’s blockbuster series.
Beginning with 2007 TRANSFORMERS, the series quickly reached beloved status in the eyes of its target demographics: young children and adults who grew up with the 80’s Hasbro toys and...
THIS is the #1 Thing Men Look For in a Woman (& You’ll Never Believe It!)
“Consequence-Free Sex”.
Isn’t that refreshing, in a world of clickbait articles? Leave it to The Lemon to cut right to the chase and give you the answer that you already know, leaving us to question why you would bother to open the article at all. That said, we can only assume you’re now wondering what the #2 Thing is that...
Ford Seatbelt Recall to Blame for Rise in Vigilante Crimefighters?
Washington, D.C. - In an unprecedented show of bipartisan cooperation, Capitol Hill lawmakers joined together today, to discuss the recall of nearly 2 million Ford trucks. The reason for the recall? A defect in the design of the safety belts, capable of triggering deadly vehicle fires. Expected to cost the automaker as much as $140 million, it’s the latest...
GMC Terrain Named “Best Personality” of 2018 Graduating Class
At the risk of downplaying serious concerns, High School Superlatives can be a funny thing.
Sometimes known as the “Class Oscars” the informal awards process is intended to highlight notable characteristics of the outgoing senior class. From “Most Likely to Succeed” to “Most Athletic”, schools around the country embrace such recognition as a means of setting the elite apart from...
