Women Vote Commercial Vans “Sexiest Vehicles on Earth”
The beauty of industrial or commercial vehicles is that, for the automotive and fitting industries, there is some expectation of job security. While economic ebbs and flows might affect the workload for contractors and service providers in all forms, the simple fact is that the need for such skilled laborers and technicians rarely seems to disappear completely. Even specialists...
Satanic Cult Diversifies, Opening RAM Dealership “For the Hell of It”
Do you like Satanists? Whether or not you realize it, the answer is probably ‘yes’. Surprised? Most people are. Because a recent study shows that modern Satanists rival Roman Catholics in number, meaning that a good number of your friends, family and loved ones might actually worship the Dark Lord Baphomet. The difference is Satanists (unlike Christians, Vegans, Crossfitters...
NASCAR Feels the Need…the Need for WEED?!
Daytona Beach, FL - The phrase “Tires Blazin’” is about to take on a whole new meeting, as one of the most lucrative and high-profile professional sporting events in history is rumored to take on a new partner in the form of the fastest growing industry in the global economy.
Forbes recently published some research data stating that the global...
Newly-Single Man in Search of Used Truck Specifically for the Hauling of Ass
Nashville, TN - Boundaries are a funny thing when it comes to Social Media. One might even argue that any sense of ‘limitation’ is further diminished with each and every day, especially by users who throw neutrality to the wind, posting content that is either targeted, eschews another user’s right to anonymity, or ripe for misinterpretation. And with more...
Masshole Drops “Trou’ and Gets Weird With Local Laws
If you’re ever sitting at home, bored (probably with no pants on) and feel like falling down a rabbit-hole, do an online search for crazy state laws. You’ve probably heard some of them before, such as the fact that it’s illegal to sleep on a supermarket bread shelf in North Carolina. Or that you can’t take a lion to...
Parents Unite Against Chevy Sonic After Being Forced to Lie to Their Kids
At the risk of using a cliched sentiment, parenting really is the most difficult job you could ever have. Aside from a handful of absolute douchebags out there, you don’t aim to raise the President of the United States, the scientist who will cure cancer or a future Nobel Prize winner. No. Your only real job is to put...
Used Car Dealership Owner Pays Tribute to Every Woman Who Used Him
Dallas, TX - Most of the used car dealership owners that we know are actually pretty cool dudes. However, these used car lots can clearly have a negative impact on some individuals, and that’s what we saw from Davey Montgomery of Dallas Chrysler-Buick.
During the Black Friday and Cyber Monday season, the dealership was offering several promotions that paid “tribute”...
U.S. Troops to Stop (Shipment of Dodge) Caravan at Mexican Border
Reporting on live auto news, one grows accustomed to noting how blurred lines can arise when a subject transcends the automotive industry to exist in other areas of interest.
In recent months, you’d have to have been living under a rock to not have heard about the caravan of several thousand Central American migrants who were making their way to...
It’s a Ford! It’s a Chevy! It’s…Gisele Bündchen?
If you’re comparing the 2019 Ford F-150 vs 2019 Chevy Silverado, it’s important to recognize that you have plenty of anti-automaker propaganda to sift through. Despite both offerings having evolved over the last couple of model years to become more lightweight, durable and powerful than ever before, each still has its naysayers. And despite the two retaining the top...
Instagram Influencer Questioned Under Suspicion of Child Endangerment
(Editorial Note: as restricted by a court order issued at the time of arraignment, THE LEMON will not be revealing the true identities of the parties involved in this story. When used, aliases will initially be placed in quotations)
For an Instagram Influencer out of Massachusetts, it all started as an innocent search for Chevy trucks for sale…
“Kerri-Joan Remy” is...
Christmas Protesting Reaches All-New High
Okay. Full disclosure, this is the part where I was supposed to write a piece comparing the 2019 GMC Yukon vs 2019 Ford Expedition. However, my co-worker, who will remain unnamed (let’s call him “Josh”) offered me some weed called ‘Full Circle’ and, well, I’m sure you can figure out the rest.
After cycling through the first few waves, I...
Making Chicken Soup out of Chicken Sh*t: The Secret Genius Behind the Chevy Volt
Detroit, MI - Do you think today’s automakers are producing vehicles with the unique needs and demands of the driver in mind? Or, do you think that consumers have simply grown content to accept whatever options are put in front of them? This is the question being asked as we edge towards the third decade of what we still...
Did Mazda’s Throwback Engine Inspire Apple’s New iPhone Concept?
It was earlier this year when Mazda’s Vice President of Sales and Customer Service (Europe) Martijn Brink confirmed that the automaker’s Zoom-Zoom 2030 plan will include the return of its legendary rotary engine. Devoid of turbocharger, the single-disc Wankel engine will be the size of a shoebox, acting as a generator for purely electric offerings to come. While the...
Ignorant, Uninformed Protestors Targets GMC for Discrimination
A recent poll, measuring the 2019 GMC Sierra 1500 vs 2019 Chevy Silverado has garnered national attention resulting from the outcries of political activist groups from coast-to-coast. While the protests seem to exist in a perpetual fugue-state, it was recently confirmed that they are fueled by troubling accusations being levied against the automaker, on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community.
The...
Conspiracy Theorists Concerned About Ford’s Lack of Concern About Aliens
If you’re well-acclimated to meme culture (or even just the History Channel) you might be familiar with Giorgio A. Tsoukalos. While far from a household name, Tsoukalos (with his unconventional hairstyle) has become one of the great internet icons based upon his televised insistence that extraterrestrial influence has impacted all aspects of humanity’s development (including the creation of God...
Toyota Eyes New Naming Strategy for 2020
“Gentlemen…and ladies…taking the main stage we have a very special request. She’s a sexy crowd favorite who’s here just for you. Make sure and show her some love. Let’s give it up for the 2019 Toyota Sienna.”
(Too much? We can never tell…)
For some unknown reason, automotive naming strategies seem to have been elevated to ‘hot topic’ status as-of-late. Whether...
The Untold Story of Cincinnati’s Margarita 5K
Cincinnati, OH - Sponsored by a number of local businesses including Chad’s Discount Tire Cincinnati has asserted itself as the newest home of the Margarita Madness 5K Run/Walk. Supporting the WorldWide P.U.S.H. (Push Until Success Happens) foundation, the event is intended to raise funds and awareness to support academic achievement and the creation of great scholars, worldwide, through higher...
Because When You Really Think About It, EVERYTHING in Albany is “Used”
According to a new study, when searching for used trucks in Albany, NY drivers might have the highest probability of success, out of anyone in the country. At least that’s according to Perrin Bratt, an aspiring researcher and novelist who is currently promoting his controversial new book, titled “U.S.e Your Dick-o-meter”.
The book which has been called “an affront to...
Focus Group Compares Ford SUVs to ‘Group of Girls You’d Meet at a Party’
Detroit, MI - Earlier this year, Ford announced that they would be refocusing their attention on their lineup of crossovers and SUV’s in the coming years, to ensure that they meet the evolving expectations of today’s drivers. Offering distinctive styling options, Ford SUV’s represent one of the most diverse and divisive lineups. That said, in the interest of brand...
GM Prepares to Arm Law Enforcement With “Unfair Advantage”
While composing an in-depth look at the 2019 Chevy Equinox, I found myself amazed at just how far the pioneering crossover has come in the last decade-and-a-half. While I often criticize the segment for using a kitchen-sink mentality, I couldn’t help but be floored by the available technologies that make the Equinox (and its ilk) so compelling to the...
